“Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.”
I’m at a dead end in the relationship with one of my children. We are sooooo the same, but also sooooo different.
And as I’m mourning the loss of a close relationship, I’m crying out to my God! My God who knows me better than I know myself. My God who made me, and also made my child. My God who loves me just as I am - unconditionally, and who also loves my child unconditionally. My God who gave me weak points with a reason, who also gave my child weak points with a reason.
My God who gave me a hope, a future, a purpose in life, also to my child a hope, future and purpose!
And as I pondered this, I realized I’m a foolish woman. I’m breaking down my home with my own hands!
Oh, Lord please forgive me, I want to be a wise woman, a woman who builds her home! I’m daily sacrificing time to be a wise woman, I cannot allow the enemy of mine and my children's’ souls to tempt me into breaking down the relationships in my home!
And while we are at the dawn of 2011, I will give a name to this year.
I will name this year Rebuilding!
I’m so much a goal oriented person and often put goals before relationships. This year I will make relationships my goal.
When I picture relationships, I’m seeing a blanket. For me a strong relationship is like an oversized big, warm blanket. With an oversized big, warm blanket around my shoulders, I’m able to survive the storms of life, but when there are holes in my blanket due to damaged relationships, I will not survive. The wind will blow through the holes and I will not be able to keep the blanket in one piece.
What kind of blanket am I for my children, for my husband?
Am I an oversized big, warm blanket who protect my love ones against the storms of life. Do I repair the holes in my blanket formed by our sinful nature, unrealistic expectations and selfishness, immediately? Or do I allow the storms of life to enlarge the holes until eventually it is beyond repair?
Over the past year I’ve allowed my blanket to be ripped to pieces... but I will not be in despair.
This year I will, by the grace of God repair my blanket and at the end God will make it new!
I will print out the name of 2011 and put it everywhere in my home, for me to see, to ponder on, to overcome!
I’m going to be a wise woman - who builds her home through rebuilding the relationships in her home!
Some days I will fail, but I will not be a failure, because I’m able to do anything, through God who give me strength! Every new day I will start again, and by God’s grace I will rebuild my relationship with my child!
But I know for this to happen I need to firstly rebuild my relationship with God. Oh, how I long to rebuild my relationship with God. Just be with my God, like Mary. Stop trying to impress God, stop being Martha. So I will start with rebuilding my relationship with God, and then the other relationships will follow.
“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.”
Dear God please guide me this year in rebuilding my relationships.
Please, make me strong to stay away from the temptation to rush for the goal and missed out on the relationship, even damaging the relationship.
Please make me an overcomer in rebuilding relationships!
In Jesus Name
I wrote this posting after I’ve been challenged at A Holy Experience to name the year, the same day I thought I’ve lost all hope in repairing the relationship with my child.
You can read more about name the year here.