Raising Daughters Fit to be Graceful Pillars in a Palace.

“May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace.”   Ps 144:12 New Living Translation

When my mother visited us in March she brought my Matric Fear-well dress with, to give to Heidi-Mari.  Heidi-Mari tried it on immediately.

I couldn’t believe my eyes!  It was almost like I looked at myself, 25 years ago! Could I ever have imagined, the last time I took that dress off, that my daughter will one day put it on and look so beautiful.

My mother’s intention was that the girls would use the dress for there dress-up playing. 

Since the last dress I made for Danika for her 6th birthday, had seen better days, 

I promised her that I would make her a new dress to play dress-up, with Heidi.

When I was halfway with the new dress - it normally takes me 3-4 weeks to finish a dress, I only have time for sewing on weekends - the girls got an  invitation to a Princess Party.  They were so excited.  They could both wear their new dresses to the party!

Last weekend they attend the girly party and looked so beautiful!

Look at all the Princesses, playing ‘pass the parcel’! 

As I was looking at my daughters I remembered a teaching by Nancy Campbell - The Flourishing Mother has a Vision.  I would like to share some of Nancy’s ideas on raising Daughters for the King.

In Ps 144 the psalmist gives us a picture of the kind of sons and daughters he would like us to raise. 

12 May our sons flourish in their youth like well-nurtured plants. May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace. (New Living Translation)

There are two things about Daughters:

Graceful and Pillars. 

Lets first look at the Pillar.  What is the function of a pillar?

• To support a structure
• Bears the weight of a structure

But there is even more, than just a pillar.   Our daughters aren’t compared to just ordinary pillars.  No, the Psalmist talks about the pillars of a palace.

What is he trying to say by linking daughters to the pillars of a palace?  Think about the pillar of a palace.  It is decorative, ornamental, a beautiful feature.

Womanhood/femininity is beautiful!  Women are the crown of God’s creation - created out the rib of a man to be a gift to him!  Eve must have been the most beautiful woman that walked the face of the earth!  In the old Testament we read about so many beautiful woman!  Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, Abigail, Esther.

The Word describes Rebecca in Gen 24:16 as ‘very beautiful to behold, a virgin...” and Rachel in Gen 29:17 as ‘beautiful of form and appearance.‘  We also read about Abigail in 1 Sam 24:16, ‘she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance...‘ and Esther was a ‘young woman lovely and beautiful.”   And it is in the Bible that we read this!  God actually wrote about the beauty of women!

Our Daughters must embrace womanhood, their femininity, walking with heads held high. Proud that God created them to be beautiful.  But firstly, we as mothers should model to our daughters beautiful womanhood. That we embrace our femininity, a gentle and quiet spirit, not a spirit of rebellion against men, always knowing better than them. 

Are you a woman who delight in being beautiful, not only in spirit, but also physical? Although Paul desired women to ‘adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” You can still be physically beautiful and rejoice in being different from men - beautiful in appearance, a beautiful gift for the man God brings alongside you!

Today there are so many young women whose virginity, womanhood, femininity is being robed from them - due to the feminist movement of the 70‘s. Women don’t walk in the glory of being the crown of God’s creation.  They don’t even have the desire to be a woman, don’t even walk or dress like woman any more.  

Please Mothers, teach your daughters to be pure, graceful - to embrace their beauty.  Young women don’t care how they look anymore.  Lets teach them to dress beautiful, be graceful.  When Heidi-Mari turned 8 years, I started making her dresses.  

I had to make her dresses, you either don’t find dresses for older girls or the dresses (and for that matter any clothes for older girls, age 8 - 12 years old) don’t compliment femininity.  It rather tends to expose their bodies in an ungodly way.  How can I teach my daughter to be modest and pure, when she wears clothes that says the opposite?  It is scary to see little girls exposing their bodies, they don’t even know what they are saying with their clothes. 

But there is more than just being a decorative, ornamental pillar in a palace.  Pillars are strong, it’s main purpose is to bear the weight of the building.  

Do we raise our daughters strong enough to raise a family, that can change the nation?  On the contrary, you may think, you don’t want your daughter to raise a family! It is not for you to decide.

Have you been prepared for the weight of motherhood? I was never taught about Motherhood, not even marriage, being a wife and preparing a meal for my future husband. No!  I was prepared for my career.

Dear Mothers, lets start preparing our daughters physically and emotionally to be wives and mothers.  Train them in the kitchen. 

From this year I’m intentionally giving Heidi-Mari training in the kitchen, so she can one day prepare healthy, tasty food for her husband and family, that is also a delight to look at. 

Lets train them to be strong in convictions and faith (we can only trust God as far as we know God – Teach them about God and His miracles).   Teach them about purity and modesty, Walking with God, Understanding God, Fearing God!

Prepare them to carry and bear the weight to raise a family, which is their Highest Calling! In our household of ten, Heidi-Mari and Danika already knows the weight and responsibility of a wife and mother.  They know it is no easy task and I pray that God will use me, despite my sinful, selfish nature, to model to them the joy of sacrificing for my husband and family. 

But we as mothers must also make sure our daughters are physically strong enough! They can have a strong spirit, but without a strong body it is going to be hard.  When is a good time to start preparing their bodies to be strong for Motherhood?  Should they start three months before they want to fall pregnant? No!  We start preparing our daughters to give birth, with their birth – that is their future calling.  

The moment your baby is born, you put baby to your breast, the best nourishing.  Everybody knows breast is best, but do we believe it and act on it?  

Do we train our daughters to breast feed their babies or are there bottles for their dolls?  Heidi-Mari and Danika always throw away the bottles that comes with their dolls, they breastfeed their dolls, just as I do.  

We have to understand as mothers, childbearing is not a negative to our bodies and communicate that to our daughters.  

We are created for childbearing!  If we are physically healthy and well we can go through pregnancy, childbearing, nursing, raising a family and it will not physically overwhelm us. 

God created our bodies to function perfectly for what it’s created to do.  But then we need to be well nourished, eating whole food, not live on white gunk food!  If you are well nourished you won’t have problems during pregnancy and childbearing or problems after birth.  We do live in a fallen world and our bodies did deteriorate over time since Adam and Eve, but it is not meant to be the reason for the 75% of problems in infertility, miscarriages, caesarians and postnatal depression!  Do you want to give your daughter a start like that?

GET A VISION, MOTHERS!

See ahead, not just getting through the day, but prepare them for the future.  My daughters are already embracing motherhood and looking forward to the day, when God grants them the privilege to bear children.  Lets start preparing them, it is our responsibility!!

If we continue to just let them have coke, sugary food, white processed food, devitalized packaged food, we are preparing the way for them to have difficulties. 

Are you preparing your daughters to be the pillar for the palace wall? Beautiful, strong, bearing the weight, have their baby’s.  

I’m living as healthy as I possibly can, making healthy food every day and our daughters grow up in a healthy way.   I have normal childbirths, with no interference during pregnancy, childbirth or afterwards. 

The woman of today suffer from so many illnesses (Christo see them every day!)  Woman can’t mother their children with all these ailments.  That weighs you down in mothering.  You have to be in top health.

Lets prepare our daughters  – no junk, white fast food!

I don’t believe it is pregnancy and childbearing that put you out of shape.  Our lifestyle puts us out of shape.  Women have fewer children than the previous generations and they are more overweight than the previous generations.  Think of the lifestyle of women of previous generations.  They were hardworking women.  

Recently I ran into some friends, I haven’t seen for a long time and in most of cases I’ve been shocked to see how they’ve changed physically since they’ve entered their forties! Mostly due to a hysterectomy, tubal binding and/or hormone replacement therapy.  None of these are necessary if you just let your body function the way God intended it to.  Having babies is preserving my body!  

How are you raising the daughters in your home?  Are you doing everything in your power to raise daughters suitable to beautify a palace?  

Will the ‘palace’ in which your daughter will one day raise her family, be able to uphold by her strength and wisdom, will she be a strong, graceful pillar...?