24 May 2012

Emotions of the Mother of A Young Man!






It all started Tuesday evening when Christo informed me that I got a reminder notification from the Traffic Department to renew my Driver’s license… 
Could it be? 
 Is it possible that THE five years sneaked pass me in the blink of an eye? 
Five years ago my oldest son was 13 years old… 


He was on the brink of becoming a young man:
I clearly remember walking out of the Traffic department, so relieved that I managed through the queue, eye test and paying the bill, with two babies, all by myself - Andrew was 23 months and David 7 months - thinking next time I have to renew my license, it might be easier, because by then I would have much older children to help with possible babies.  
But an even bigger thought was lingering somewhere in my mother heart. Next time I have to renew my license, my oldest son would be preparing himself to receive his drivers license.  
               It was an exciting, daunting notion.
...Forward

Four and a half years…
In November last year, CJ proudly obtained his Learners Driver’s license.  It was a big moment for me as well as my son! We immediately enrolled him with a driving school and after a few lessons Christo allowed him to drive home each time after fetching him from the horses, with his truck.  
Christo is a much better teacher than I and far more patient, so in the past 6 months, CJ only drove me twice to the supermarket.  The first time was almost to momentous for me to grasp. 

The second time, more memories, much further in the past: 
I remembered a dry, winter’s day in August 1994 - I was 4 days from 40 weeks pregnant with my firstborn. On this day I had to fetch study material from a bookshop in the centre of the town where we lived.  I squeezed in behind the steering wheel of my car, almost unable to reach the pedals due to moving the chair as far backwards as possible, so I could fit in the ‘little passenger’ in my tummy. I realized this is it! It would be the last time I move in behind the steering wheel of my car with this tummy!  24 hours later CJ was born!  
Current time...

April 2012 and I had to blink twice to come to terms that my son is sitting in front of the steering wheel again, but this time I’m the passenger!  When did this happen?

The past few weeks we called the traffic department numerous times to check if it was time to make an appointment for the fourth week of August, 3 days after CJ’s 18th birthday, so he could check out for his driver’s license.  On Monday we got the green light and scheduled Wednesday to go for the eye test and make the appointment. The whole time I remembered somewhere in the back of mind, my license also needed to be renewed, but I didn’t allow myself to pay to much attention to it. I almost tried to avoid the thought.
Then Tuesday night Christo, suggested I renew my license today too, since I have to be there!  
No!! I don’t want to!  
Five years ago, in an emotional moment, I visioned something like that could happened, but in real live? Can’t we just get this over and done, without any emotional attachments, real life realizations?  

I made an excuse of not having passport photos and dropped the subject.  I wasn’t ready to face the facts, my son is growing up, a young man, almost ready to be on his own… 
something I was thinking about five years ago, with delight, but anxiously too...  
              it was still 5 years ahead, all right…  
but now…
Wednesday morning while CJ was getting all the papers and passport pictures ready, I told him I actually could renew my license too, but I don’t have passport pictures and we don’t have time to stop for that on our way, so I would just have to go another time.  To my shock, he announced he still have passport pictures of me, and I will be able to renew my license.  When he went for his ID, I applied for a new ID, since mine was in a terrible condition, so we went for passport pictures together. 
We didn’t use all mine… 
              My son filed mine with his...
                              The time had come… 
I was on my way to renew my driver’s license 
the same time my first born was going for his eye test 
making the appointment for his driver’s license.  

What an awesome place in time… 
A memory making moment in my journey as a Mother… 
         All part of the closing process... 
                 Cutting the umbilical cord for good… 
                  Allowing my son to spread his wings, fly…
How did my Mother heart know?  It was almost like in a far fetched moment I saw an exact vision of this day… 
Five years into the future… Now...
Thank you Lord, 
for holding me, 
for holding my son, 
for intertwining us together, 
though we are slowly moving apart… 


 to fulfill our separate callings in life, as adults.

Dear Mother, we hear it numerous times… 
we know… 
                 in the blink of an eye our precious babies, will be grown ups. 

 Cherish every moment …
the fun times, 
                the challenging times too.

Much love
Linnie











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3 comments:

Susan Godfrey said...

As a mom of two boys I can certainly appreciate your thoughts here! I would love if you would share it at my Feminine Friday link-up, I know my readers will benefit from it!

http://susangodfrey.com/biblical-response-to-feminism-part-1-feminine-friday-link-up-party/

Blessings!
Susan

Linnie said...

Thank you Susan, for visiting my blog and introduce me to your link-up! I love it!

Wendy said...

What a blessing he is, Linnie.

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