09 March 2010

Welcome Michael Party and 'Me-Time"

When I was pregnant with Daniel, a special group of friends gave us a baby shower. Christo told me we were expecting a friend for the evening from Pretoria. As I opened the door, there were all my friends with a surprise party!  
Since I was convinced it was a girl and up to then, had never been wrong with any of my babies, they all blessed us with pink gifts!

Needles to say, there weren’t much blue clothes or blankets when little Daniel arrived. He was wrapped in a pink blanket the first hour of his life! 

So this time around we decided to rather have a ‘Welcome Baby Party” instead of a baby shower! 

One of the benefits of having a ‘baby shower’ after the birth is that everyone knows, baby is a boy or a girl, in terms of gifts,

and it makes it easier on the family to have one morning during which all my special friends can meet the new addition to our family.

So, on a beautiful Friday morning, in February, my special group of friends, blessed us with a ‘Welcome Michael Party’!  

We all met at Meerendal in the Durbanville wine lands and had cake, coffee 

and such a special time together.  

Every one got a turn of meeting and holding little Michael, 

while he was totally unaware of all the attention. 

The oohs and the aahs, while adoring this perfect, tiny, human being! 

It was such a blessing to me to enjoy this special morning in the company of my friends!  Thank you, my dear Friends!

That doesn’t happened very often.  Being devoted to my family and their needs doesn’t give me much time to hang out with friends, not even receiving friends at home. I am totally at peace with it! This is the season in my life during which I devote every minute of my day to be close to my children and train them up in the way they should go.   I believe the success of raising Godly children depends on my priorities and how willing I am to separate my children from the world. 
The past few weeks I heard so many mothers complaining about their lack of ‘Me-Time”.  Where does this ‘Me-Time’ monster come from?  Everywhere I turn, and most of the time I’m around Christian Woman, I heard them long for more ‘Me-Time’ and asking each other how to work in more ‘Me-Time”.  I’ve observed in all these mothers that there longing for more ‘Me-Time’ is there biggest obstacle in raising Godly children in whom they could have a delight to be around.
We need to let go of this “Me-Time-Monster” that robs mothers of the pleasures of a close, loving relationship with godly, well-behaved children!  The “Me-Time-Monster” gives you the illusion that having time AWAY from your children will help you cope with the demands of being WITH your children!  Wrong thinking!  Dear mother we need to renew our minds, turning away from worldly thinking. The more mothers are AWAY from their children, the more undisciplined and ‘lonely’ children become, resulting in more demanding children!
Training our children’s hearts to think like God thinks is only possible if we Mothers keep them right by us.  

We need to keep our younger and most untrained ones by our side constantly. The older and more trained ones at least in the same room until they are absolutely trustworthy elsewhere.   We need to love, nurture, encourage and educate our children constantly. We need to watch them 24 hours a day!  We need to renew our minds to WILLINGLY make parenting our top priority!  It is our FULL TIME JOB!

My second motivation for being a ‘stay-at-home-homeschooling-mother’ is to separate my children from wrong influences, at least until they are very mature in their training and faith (and this maturity doesn’t come as quickly as most parents expect). 
We read in Matthew 6:24, 
"No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will hold to one and despise the other..." (NAS)

By allowing our children to be exposed to questionable outside influences, we’re pushing our children into the arms of a second master.  By removing TV from our home and homeschooling our children, we effectively keep our children from wrong influences.  But there is another more enjoyable and simple thing we can do to produce godly, loving children.

We DO more things TOGETHER as a family and let our children do fewer things with ‘friends’ outside the family.  We keep our children WITH us, and reject the popular mindset that my children ‘need’ to socialize outside their home.  It is often at these socializing events that our children will learn values, other than ours and pick up attitudes that are anti-family and anti-authority.  This is where our children will lose their loyalty toward us and God and turn their loyalty toward the world.
We read in 2 Cor. 6:17-18
"Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate," says the Lord. "And do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you. And I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me," says the Lord Almighty.

Our children never ask for friends and socializing outings!  They are content in their home and with each other.  In the security of their own home, with a mother who are devoted 24 hours a day, training them 7 days a week, it is possible to raise Godly Children and enjoy parenthood.
Then the picture of cooing infants who loves to be rocked to sleep, 

cute toddlers who enjoy playing peacefully for hours with blocks and toy trains. Grade school children who are always eager to learn and never bicker, 

helpful teens who look forward to sharing confidences with Mom and Dad, and finally young adults who are mature and trustworthy and prepared to start families of their own, is not completely unrealistic! 
Do I long sometimes to be in adult, friendly company?  Do I miss my friends?  

For sure I do!  I love my friends and enjoy every minute spent with them.  But for now, my family is the priority and I need to sacrifice my needs, for them.  I do believe the sacrifice will bear MUCH FRUIT in the future!  And there will always be time to be with friends again when this season is over... but I will NOT have time again to train my children, when they are grown up!


Natalie said...

I so agree with you. We raise our kids in the way you just explained and it puzzles people.They wonder why we keep our kids so close and wonder about socializing etc. We do everything as a family and the kids enjoy each other. They too have no want for outside friends. It is truly as you said, that we only have one chance to train ou children in the way they should go. When they are grown our job is done and if we have done wrong, we cannot go back and do it again. Thank you for the encouragement through your post.
Blessings from an ex SA living in Canada.

Linnie said...

Hi Natalie
Thank you for taking the time to comment!
May you have a blessed time with your children, training them for God's glory!

Huisvrou said...

Wens somtyds ek kan meer vertroue in my eie vermoë hê. Dikwels sien ek my eie foute voorop en vergeet dat Vader al my foute kan herstel op sy manier.

Dan wonder ek oor my keuses....

Joanna said...

What a great post! I found your blog address from the article you recently wrote for Above Rubies (my favorite magazine!). The article you wrote there was such a blessing and this post is too!
Thanks for your Christian example.
You can visit me at:

Linnie said...

Marelize, ek twyfel nogsteeds elke dag, veral wanneer ek toegee aan my 'gevoel'. Wanneer dinge soms moeilik gaan met dissipline en besluitneming in kind-groot-maak, kan ek so maklik aan 'gevoel' toegee en hopeloos voel. Dit is veral dan dat ek moet opkyk na Vader God en wandel in Geloof!

Linnie said...

Hi Joanna
Welcome on my blog and thank you for taking the time to comment! Praise the Lord you've been encouraged by my writings.
Have a blessed Weekend!

Petra said...

How my heart strings were tugged when I saw the faces of all my dear old friends! Miss you all lots. Thanx for the wonderful posts Linnie!

Linnie said...

Oh, We've missed you even more, my dear friend!

Joyfulmama said...

Hi Linnie! Thanks for the very timely piece on socializing etc. It has to be the number one criticism I encounter when people hear that we'll be homeschooling. My little ones are at their happiest when they are with us in our home. We also don't take them to the creche at church, but train them from birth to be quietly with us during the service. That's not always easy for a two-year old, but I think she is doing very well. She enjoys worship very much! I've been encouraged by your post to cut down even more on time spent running errands during the day. My husband has now offered to come home on Mondays and Fridays for an hour over lunch time so that I can get things done while he's with our babies.

Linnie said...

Dear Joufulmama,
Welcome on my blog and taking the time to comment! I enjoy your blogs!
Have a blessed week.

jackie said...

How perfect that I found your blog today. I was just thinking that we " need" more friends , and I thought I had to set out to help my 10 yr old make more friends.
How wonderful God is to lead me to your blog!
I have 2 young girls and 3 grown kids and I totally agree with your article today. How we have only the one chance to train them.
I am also separated from my 2nd husband, the father of these 2 young girls.
Thanks for the blog, I am sure I will be reading and learning.
My girls are not home schooled and attend Catholic school.
My girls are best friends with one another .

Linnie said...

Hi Jackie
Welcome on my blog and thank you for taking the time to comment!
Praise the Lord for His timing!
Have a blessed week!

Wilma Gray said...

I am so happy to see that I can happily say "I feel like that Linnie" how amazing! You are such a pattern to us and I wish I can meet you one day. I have so many questions. Thank you for a great blog...even though I read this post more than a year later. I must say....I am looking after a friend of mines baby who is a full time worker for the Lord. They want to watch our boys....but I don't need it. They need me. The little boy cried for his mommy so much this evening, and the baby, who is with my mother is crying for his mothers breast. We don't need me time. We need to give our children our time. Soon it is over then we will be sorry for asking for so much me time.

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