Growing

During school holidays I aim to take one child at a time with me when I have to run errands. On Tuesday it was Andrew’s turn. He is my passionate child, with the small heart. 

Quality time is his love language. Needless to say, he loved every moment alone with me. 

The one thing that stand out for me when being with him alone, is the kind of questions and things he talks about. He has such an inquisitive mind and loves asking questions.

On Tuesday, out of the blue, he wanted to know how we grow, as he observed his too long fingernails which I forgot to cut before we left. Do we grow a piece at a time, or do we grow constantly? As I started an elaborate detailed explanation, as the constant changes in our bodies are quite a difficult concept to explain to an 8 year old, while driving - another picture come to mind.

I thought about spiritual growth

We do not have much control of our bodies’ growth, or as we get older (where I’m now), the slow degeneration of our bodies. We can take care of our diet. Eating organic food as far possible, avoiding fast foods, colourants, genetically modified foods, MSG and preservatives to give optimum growth and prevent degenerating at a fast rate. We can take anti-oxidants, vitamins and Omegas to revitalize our cells, and drink 2-3 liters of water to wash away cellular waste. All these precautions can help us have optimum and quality life.

Change is part of the cycle of life. Physically we will always have change. But we are not only body, we are also spirit and soul and in our spiritual life we will also have constant change. We can either grow and move forward or choose a comfort zone and back slide slowly. I read the other day ‘Create a new comfort zone.” When you are in a comfort zone and nothing is challenging you, you might be at a dangerous place.   A comfort zone can easily become a place of no growth. After all, what is there to depend on God for when we have everything under control? 

God wants us to move our boundaries, conquer new territory for Him, do new things for Him, reach people in His name for His glory. But in moving our boundaries, stepping out of our comfort zones, we will surely stumble into overwhelming circumstances. You will feel out of control, afraid, inexperienced, “the wrong man for the job”.  

And that is exactly what you are supposed to feel when you are in a spiritual challenging situation, out of you comfort zone.  When you can do nothing out of our own, you can only walk with the Lord Jesus in total dependence. It is in these circumstances that you grow, that you learn more about God, who you are and how to trust Him for more.

After all, when you move the boundaries, transcending the ordinary and starts to encroach on new territory for God, guess whose turf you’re invading? You are conquering territory for the Lord which belong to the World, to Satan. It will call for great faith, great dependence on the Lord for His supernatural power working through you. In the process we will be filled more with the Spirit and we will grow spiritually.

I remember a story by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson, years ago while he was still in seminary. He was in conversation with a fellow student and his mentor, Professor Howard Hendricks.  The student was excited to tell Dr. Hendricks how well his life was going.

“When I first came here,” he said, “I was so tempted and tested I could barely keep my head above water. But now - praise God! - my life at seminary has smoothed out. I’m not being tempted hardly at all!” 

But Hendricks looked deeply alarmed - not the reaction the student was expecting. 

“That’s about the worst thing I could have heard,” he told the surprised senior. 

“That shows me that you’re no longer in the battle! Satan isn’t worried about you anymore.” 

Are you still in the battle? Are you still stepping out in faith, redeeming territory for the Lord, living in total dependence on Jesus? Do you allow these circumstances to let you grow spiritually, or do you enjoy your comfort zone? Playing it safe, tolerant and blending in?

Remember Peter stepping out of the boat, walking on the water depending on Jesus alone?

Whatever you do this week, don’t be hesitant to live a life for the Lord. Be bold, living in totally dependence, pleasing the Lord by living in faith!

With love

Linnie

If my blog is a blessing, encouragement, inspiration or informative to you, 

please consider voting for 

Back to Ancient Ways 

at 

Circles of Moms' Top 25 Moms with Big Families for 2013

This way more families can be encouraged and informed.

Vote Now and every 24 hours till the 24th of July 2013

Currently my blog is still awaiting final approval, so please look under 

"Pending approval" blogs, you can already vote!

Thank you Friends!

Obedience: Safe & Secure?

This posting from Large Family Mothering really spoke to my heart:

"We are a planning, plotting, goal-reaching people. We are taught to strategize and have all of our ducks in a row. 

With all of the danger and uncertainty in the world, people are looking for more ways to feel secure; with seminars on how we can make our money work better for us, how to stay out of debt and how to nail-down every aspect of our fiscal existence. 

But we just don’t see it—at least not yet. God is not impressed with all of our vain efforts. Of course, Biblical principles will never steer us wrong—but if we miss the God that speaks these principles, we will still miss the greatest blessing of relationship with Him!

Life is not easy—no matter how one tries to make it seem so. I know some people who live what I call “prophylactic” lifestyles. They don’t just live—they are making sure that they have accounted for every contingency. They exist according to a plethora of checklists for everything from leaving the house to preventive medical tests and exams.

I don’t know if you’re like me, but I have observed that those who love God don’t usually live “safe” existences. I am reminded here of all the saints in the Word who followed God not by "sight" but by "faith" alone. King David certainly loved God—he was declared to be a man after God’s own heart! And yet, he went through so many trying circumstances—fleeing from King Saul after he was anointed, even living among the Philistines for a time, posing as a madman. 

Even Moses was not without trials because he chose to walk with God.

We should not (and can not) plan for every contingency. Safety should not be our preoccupation. Obedience should be our focus with our gaze on Christ! 

Obedience--not sacrifice! 

Instead of looking to experts, we should be training our spirits to tune in to the voice of the Holy Spirit--following His lead.”

The past two weeks was to say the least a shock for my system. It all started the night after my first day of school for 2011. I was in total despair!  That evening as I was laying in the safe arms of my husband, I uttered my fears, my frustrations and my insecurity for home schooling my eight precious children!

Many a day over the past two weeks, I couldn’t get to every child with all their different assignments.  CJ will turn 17 this year!  Theoretically he has only two years of “school” left. I just love the work he’s learning and don’t have a problem helping him, but oh, to find the right time is such a frustration! For his work we need exclusive time for sometimes up to an hour or longer.  

Try to do that between a baby and 3 toddlers!  Then there is my fear, will I be able to teach him everything he needs to know, for whatever he want to do in the near future?

Little Danika is turning 8 this year and needs a great deal of individual attention, with learning to write, read and doing basic maths! (I am a ‘rather late than early-Mom’) 

It just doesn’t come easy!

Heidi-Mari and Josua are at a stage where they can work more by themselves, but I still need to explain new Math’s concept, English grammar, test spelling and find time for their Science narration! 

There’s also Andrew and David who eagerly waits for their share of stimulation every morning. 

Oh, I have the most creative ideas in different areas on how to teach my children, but it isn’t always possible to execute it in real life!

One of my biggest frustrations is my inability to multitask!  Yes, I know mothers can all multitask, but I can only do this to a certain extent!  Let me give you an example.  At this moment Christo and I are both working on our computers.  Christo love to work while listening to music, but I’m totally distracted the moment he turns on the sound. I just can’t concentrate to order my ideas and words.  Now imagine 3-4 little ones, each telling me something while I’m trying to teach Danika a math concept!  Crazy! Or doing laundry and cooking while helping CJ with Physics.  Just not possible for me.

So, I’m a little out of control, with no hope to get back in control in the near future!  Until I read Shelly’s posting and it called me back to basics and gave me peace. 

Why am I home schooling my children?

Because God appointed me to home school my children, to train and teach them in His will and purposes for their lives.

Why do I have this large family?

Because God made me a Mother, with the purpose to raise godly children, who will one day change the world for Him and bring Him glory and praises into everlasting life!

I’m out of control, but God is in control. My life is in no way safe and secure, but living life through God in obedience is the only safe and secure option I know!  Every moment of every day is a surprise and I can plan as much as I like to, within minutes it can all change due to unexpected events in a large family, with many small children! But this way God can work out His plan for our lives.

I can get distracted to easily!  And I thought of it as a vice until Christo showed me it is a virtue, if I hand over control to God in this area.  I feel secure when I’m in control, so if I could multitask and keep my hand on 8 things simultaneously, I would suffocate my children with ‘school’ and we would miss out on many fun moments.  

Since I get distracted so easily, I can very easily decide that “this is it for the day”, lets go bake a cake or play a board game and through away the schedule!

And then I’m a sinner, in whom God still have to do lots and lots of carving and shaping,  polishing and submitting, to make me holy. Some days I can only bow down my head and cry out to God: “I’m a mess!”  Every day has so many stress situations and temptations, during which I mess up big time, especially on relationships. 

There isn’t many places I can turn to for help.  Other large family mothers are busy with their own trials and challenges.  The only place I can turn to, is my God and in such I’m a blessed woman!

God called me for this purpose in life and I need to trust Him with every second of my day!  There is no better place than being in the centre of God’s will, and in having a large family, and home educating them, I know I am!   

God asks obedience and my missing part is whole hearted trust!  I have to recommit myself to whole heartedly trust Him for this year!  Many a day will not be as I wish them to be, but God will pull as through for His glory and at the end it will be nothing to do with me, but all about God!

My Lord can lead me through the fire without burning, and through rivers without drowning! 

(Is 43:2)

Like Peter I need to focus on Jesus and not on the storms around me.

"God knows that, in our heart-of-hearts, our motivation was to know Him, to trust Him, and to obey Him, no matter how it seems to others and no matter what the cost. And so, even if some days it looks as though the Philistines are winning, we are sure that those things we have entrusted to Him, He is able to keep for us and for His everlasting glory."

With Love

Linnie

Michael Jonathan's Birth Story

As you may know by now, I had a show on Thursday morning and started having stronger, regular contractions during the day.  I started taking certain remedies to strengthen the uterus and pelvic muscles, to ensure, if it was real labour and prevent the contractions from stopping, like Raspberry Leaf tea. 

During the morning CJ and I worked in the vegetable garden.  Our first batch of beans was finished and we took out the remainder of it.  We replanted some of our herbs and prepared the soil of this second bed for the Rainbow Corn Heidi-Mari sowed in seedling trays a few weeks ago.  She sowed it in seedling trays, since we did not have space in the beds at that time.  I enjoyed the time in the vegetable garden with CJ so much, although I couldn’t actually bend forward or sit down or reach the ground, anymore!  CJ was such a star, knowing his mom needed the distraction and activity to get the contractions going, while he did everything I asked him to do.

By 11h00 we went into the house and every child started with his/her maths for the day.  During this half an hour the contractions got closer, about 6min apart and more intense.  Christo was at work and I had to keep him up to date by the hour.  

By 14h00 Christo came to fetch CJ for a horse riding lesson and since my contractions was rhythmic every 5-7 minutes and longer than 60 seconds, he decided not to go back to work but came home to keep an eye me.  We even went for a half an hour nap together, while the little ones were having their nap.

The rest of the afternoon I kept myself busy with doing laundry, cleaning bathrooms, putting away stuff scattered around the house. I also took care of our organic fruit and vegetables which we receive every Thursday at Eirene Health Shop

and prepared dinner.  During dinner I realized that the contractions were not as rhythmic and strong as earlier the afternoon.  There were even periods of 15min with NO contractions.  I know from experience I have to focus when I am in labour.  My contractions can stop very easily, when there are too much distractions.  Feeding and bathing little ones fit the criteria to distract my focus from labour.  So Christo and I went for a walk at 19h00.  CJ, Heidi-Mari and Josua would clean up the dinner-table and kitchen, Danika would keep Andrew and David busy and Christo put Daniel in the ergo on his back so he could be with us.

We took a brisk 30min walk around the neighborhood and although there were a few strong contractions, they were not as strong as I would expect after 13 hours in labour.  But then they got stronger again and Christo and CJ started filling the birth pool.  

The birth pool takes 2 full geysers and they wanted to play safe to make sure they got it filled in time.  I was only 3cm dilated, but had a few very strong contractions 3min apart and I called the midwife to warn her that she’s possibly going to catch a baby sometime during the night.  Christo and the children were watching a DVD - “Wall E” while I took short naps between contractions, until I got one very strong one, that got me wide awake!

At 20h30 we put the little ones to bed and I put Daniel on my breast to enhance the labour.  During the 15min he was on my breast I had 5 VERY strong contractions and actually started panicking for the intensity and length of the contractions.  We called the midwife and she arrived at 21h30.  Again my contractions become irregular and the intensity and length was less.  I paced the house, became extremely tired and decided to lay down for a while, while Christo and Jenny sat chatting in the living room.

About an hour later a very strong contraction woke me up,  they were rhythmic and strong again.  By now I was 7cm dilated and quite excited.  I was ready to get into the bath and from previous experience, I expected baby to be born in the next 90min, possibly before midnight!

As I got into the bath, I again couldn’t believe the relieve of the pain I experienced from the warm water and effect it had on my tense muscles.  And then... the contractions stoped again!  I even fell asleep at one stage only to wake up and see it was midnight and I still didn’t have strong enough contractions to indicate baby will be born soon.  

By now Christo was giving me Caulophyllum and Cimicifuga every 10 minutes. You can read about the remedies during birth on his blog. Somewhere during this time I got a terrible pain on the left side of my back.  This immediately added to my stress of not being fully in labour.  With the little knowledge I have of labour it reminded me that back pain during labour, could be due to an incorrect birth position of baby. At 00h30 the midwife gave me a choice:  We could either let the process go on naturally, leaving me with another few hours of labour, or we could break my waters and speed up the process.  With all my water births the midwife broke my water at some stage, so without hesitation we decided to break my waters.  At this stage my body was in total shock with all the pain, especially the back pain, but Jenny kept reminding me baby was in the right birth position and I needed to ‘relax’ and trust the Lord.  I knew I had to trust the Lord and took all the mental strength I had left, to get myself focused on the Lord. The whole time while I was in labour we played Michael W Smith’s Worship DVDs and I took especially courage in his reading Ps 139 and his song “Everywhere I go I see You”! Christo also gave me some rescue drops, cell food and opened up a Coral 8 capsule and put the powder in my mouth.  Baby’s heart beat was high and my pulse was high too.

The back pain was so bad, that I could hardly feel the contractions.  When thinking back now, I think this was the worse part of the labour.  With contractions you have a rhythm, the contraction comes, works itself up to a climax and gives you a few seconds of relief before the next contraction comes.  With the intense back pain, there weren’t any moments of relief.  It was a constant pain, with contractions in between.  

Half an hour later there was still no progress.  I could see Jenny was becoming worried about baby and me, but baby’s heart beat was back to normal again and my pulse too.  It was 01h20 and I was still only 7cm dilated and my cervix wasn’t softened out and baby’s head still needed to move down about 3 cm. I was exhausted and panicking - how was I going to get this baby out?

It was then that Jenny suggested that with the next contraction, she’s going to manipulate the cervix to see if it will help baby’s head coming down.  She put on one glove and with the next contraction was ready. Christo was supporting me from outside the pool.  I’ve also decided that with every contraction, I would just push this baby down.  I remember Jenny asking, “Do you feel like pushing or are you just pushing?”  I was just pushing.  Within seconds I felt baby’s head crowning.  The moment Jenny pushed the cervix back, baby’s head had enough space and came down!  There wasn’t even time for Jenny to put on another glove, baby was ready to be born!  As I was pushing, I could feel baby coming out, but then we got stuck!  There was no contraction, but I heard Jenny and Christo urging me to push. I didn’t know it then, but baby’s shoulder was stuck!  Christo afterwards said, he could see Jenny’s muscles bulge as she literally had to pull Michael out. After what felt like hours (according to Christo about 2min) and with the help of another contraction, I felt the amazing relief of baby being born under the water! This was the most amazing moment of my life!  The next moment Jenny lifted our little baby out of the water, and with great curiosity checked if it was a boy or a girl!  Praise the Lord, our perfect little boy was safely in my arms!

  

For the next ten minutes I could only cry out in relief to my Lord and Savior for the amazing thing He had done!

Right through the delivery all the children were fast asleep!  The children were a huge concern of mine. Daniel is cutting molars and he woke up every night during the past two weeks, before Michael’s birth, between 03h00 and 05h00. We had a plan for the older children on what to do if he woke up, but it wouldn’t be without Daniel crying and he would be totally out of his sleeping routine.  I have the custom to fast coffee the last 40 days of every pregnancy and lay before the Lord all my fears and concerns.  Some of my concerns that I put before the Lord were the timing of the day that would make it the easiest on the little ones, the fear for the pain, a safe delivery and a healthy mother and baby.  The Lord was so faithful, as usual.  After we praised the Lord and where sure baby was okay, Christo went to call CJ, Josua, Heidi-Mari and Danika.  

CJ, who’s room is at the total opposite side of the house, said he woke up at 01h20 and couldn’t go back to sleep. This was the exact time when Jenny decided to give a hand with the cervix.  I also heard from two other close friends, how they woke up at exactly 01h20 and where prompted to pray for us.  Danika, who is sharing a room with Heidi-Mari, right next to our room, said she heard baby’s first cry and was just waiting for Daddy to come and call her to meet her new brother/sister!

It was so special to see their faces of adoration when they first laid eyes on their newborn baby brother!  

Then they quietly went back to their beds.  The little ones didn’t have an idea want happened and slept until 07h00 the morning!

As soon as Heidi-Mari could get CJ out of his bed, she bombarded him to help her put up the ‘It’s a Boy’-banner she’d made to let the neighbours know baby has arrived. 

They are so proud to tell the world they got another brother!

This was my most difficult birth yet! Even with my recovery taking longer, looking back I just realized again - It is such a miracle and I will do it again!  Without my loving husband’s constant encouragement and support, 

my competent midwife and the Helping Right Hand of the Lord, I could never have done it!

Praise the Lord!

Pain is Your Friend!

I could be in labour!

My contractions became stronger over the night and this morning I had a show.  This was the pattern with all my previous labours. The contractions are still some time apart, but I observed something the Lord has done in me, over this past few weeks which is very encouraging! 

During the last few weeks, I became more and more afraid of labour every time I had an hour or two of strong contractions.  So much so, that I was so afraid of the pain, that I actually couldn’t think beyond the pain to holding my new baby!  Then, for a few days I didn’t have any contractions.  Then last night as the contractions become stronger I remembered something my first midwife told me years ago.  I actually didn’t remember it myself, Christo reminded me of her words when I was so afraid of the pain, a few weeks ago. But at that stage I was still too afraid to appreciate his words. Ingrid told us:  “Pain is your Friend.  Every painful contraction brings you nearer to holding your baby!”

Last night it hit me again, and I embraced her words.  I am now looking forward to every strong (painful) contraction.  I can actually visualize how every contraction is pushing my baby down, ready to be born!  

Isn’t the Lord amazing?  I’ve prayed for weeks that He would ease the pain and help me through it, since I was so afraid!  And God is faithful! He answers prayers!  I’m not afraid of the pain anymore!  I’ve made peace with the pain.  With every painful contraction I’m nearer to holding my baby!

Oh how am I looking forward to meet my baby!  

What will baby be...?

What will baby look like...?

What will baby smell like...?

How will baby feel in my arms...?