Seasons and an Update on the Lues Family 2011

My 200th Blog Posting!  


Wow, Thank you to all my Blog friends for reading my ramblings and for taking the time to comment.  I really love to hear from you.

It is almost 18 months since I did an update on the Lues Family.  So much has happened since February last year.  When I have to describe it with a sentence, it would be: “I came to know a little more about the Lord’s Seasons.” talked about in Ecclesiastics 3:

Everything Has Its Time

 To everything there is a season,

      A time for every purpose under heaven: 

        A time to be born, 

And a time to die; 

      A time to plant, 

And a time to pluck what is planted; 

       A time to kill, 

And a time to heal; 

      A time to break down, 

And a time to build up; 

       A time to weep, 

And a time to laugh; 

      A time to mourn, 

And a time to dance; 

       A time to cast away stones, 

And a time to gather stones; 

      A time to embrace, 

And a time to refrain from embracing; 

       A time to gain, 

And a time to lose; 

      A time to keep, 

And a time to throw away; 

       A time to tear, 

And a time to sew; 

      A time to keep silence, 

And a time to speak; 

       A time to love, 

And a time to hate; 

      A time of war, 

And a time of peace

This is so what I’ve experienced the past 18 months.
  

We had the joy of a newborn baby;

the blessing of a Mauritius vacation; 

the challenge of homeschooling; 

the excitement of another Knysna family vacation;

the overwhelming emotions of an Andre Rieu concert; 

the welcoming surprise of another life in my womb, but then the devastating moment of learning that we will only have the privilege of knowing That Life, in the Life To Come.

Since we lost our Unborn Baby in March this year, I’m on a roller coaster of emotions.  Especially since I’m already in my 40’s and I’m sensing the Lord is gently pushing me into a new season. 

I thought I would be strong enough to take the winds that announces the turn of the season.  But the past few months, with the signs of a new season dawning on to me, I came to know I’m not ready to leave the season I’m in, neither am I prepared for the new season!

For years I struggled to understand, figure out and make peace with the season the Lord put me in.  Yes, it didn’t come naturally to me.  For years I had to renew my mind constantly to align myself with God’s purpose for my life.  

Being pregnant, having babies, surrendering my womb to the Lord, partaker in Life giving together with all the exhausting, exciting, overwhelming and joyful emotions that comes with it.  And so, just when I embraced the season I’m in, its all changing again!

I’m most probably entering a new season.  But what is my purpose in the next season?  

I was so busy trying to understand the purpose of the current season of Life-Giving-Fruit-Bearing, I never thought about the next season. Life is now, 

enjoying every moment of every day, though some days are more about surviving the day. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow still has to come.  God want us to live this season, not longing for seasons gone by, or living in an unreal world of tomorrow. But now, with a new tomorrow almost here, I’m kind of lost.  Why do life have to be so complicated? What will this new season be asking from me? What will be the sacrifices of this new season? Oh, I do know there will be fruit, much more than in the previous season, and I’m so looking forward to it, but pruning comes before fruit bearing. 

And pruning is painful, challenging, dying to self, little by little.  

And though I have no idea what the new season is all about, it is kind of exciting to have a glimpse on the new season.  Children entering young adult life.

CJ turns 17 in the next few days.  

Wow, how I enjoy this young man in my home.  I not only love this Firstborn of mine to bits, I also like him so much!  He reminds me of his Dad, and that is so comforting.  Strong, steady, calm and a Leader.  But there is also something of my Dad; his love for horses, his sense of humor with a bit of mischief.  And there is something of myself, perseverance.  

Over the past year, CJ experienced many ups and downs in the horses.  He took part in the 2010 Junior SA Show Jumping Championships, but his horse got an eye infection weeks before the championships. Days before they had to leave for Port Elizabeth, the Vet declared Mary unfit to take part. A dear friend offered her horse for CJ to take to the championships. CJ and XP was privileged to have one practice (yes, only one) before they left for the championships. 

But CJ’s calm and relaxed personality, together with his gifting with horses, provided him a great time and he earned very valuable experience.  They started planning for the 2011 Junior Show Jumping SA Championships, when the owner of Mary decide to withdraw her from show jumping and CJ was without a horse.  But the Lord is never caught off guard.  CJ’s previous trainer had two horses that needed a rider and CJ currently had his hands full riding two horses.  

The reality though was, that he had to start all over again by training a new horse. I sense that this is all about training in this season of his life, training his perseverance.  

He also got the once in a lifetime opportunity to be a Stunt Jumping Rider for a movie shoot. 

He enjoyed every moment of it with the vitality of a young teenage boy!  In his studies, he is diligent and purposeful, which make my work as his educator very satisfying.

Then there is the young lady who is developing in my home - Heidi-Mari who just turned 14.  

Oh, how gracious the Lord was the day He gave me this girl, who is truly in the transforming phase of being a lady.  She is my best friend and co-worker in the home. 

She is a true friend to her siblings, but also my right hand in looking after her siblings.  So much so that she and her brother CJ looked after them for 7 days with only a little adult support, while we were blessed with our Mauritius vacation.

Heidi-Mari started her own crafting blog last year, she became a Design Team Member for two Card Making Challenges and this month she started her own Baking Challenge.  She is making small steps towards walking in her calling of being a Virtuous Woman and that is so precious to witness.  

Josua my almost 11 year old is showing signs of growing in his own identity.  

My ‘Thinking-Out-Of-The-Box-Boy’ - he does not know of the existence of a box!  

Danika is walking in the footsteps of her sister, but with a strong personality of her own.  

She also started her own crafting blog a month ago and crafting evenings are now devoted to her.

And then there are my four, full of energy, 

keep me on my toes 

and alive little boys, Andrew, David, Daniel and Michael. 

Andrew just turned 6 and is surely leaving his toddler steps behind and has started walking the path of a young boy!  

How precious to witness that stage again, a time of developing his personality. Asking many questions, reasoning and thinking in his unique way.  

Little David, four years, is walking more and more in the calling of his name! 

He is an individualist, he needs nobody’s approval to do what he believe is right - a challenge in itself for his parents (!) - but so sensitive, with his sweet spirit.  

Daniel at three (tomorrow on the 1st), is only my older baby!  

Oh, he still needs me so much, though it is so easy to forget he needs me.  He’s still chubby like a baby, looks like a baby, experience life like a baby, and when he looks at me with his precious big baby face, everything in me crumble and I embrace my sweet little boy!

And then there is baby Michael. 

In only two months from now, he would not have been my baby anymore, that is if our precious unborn baby stayed in my womb.  But in the Lord’s wisdom He decided Michael will still be my baby at 18 months, unlike his three older brothers. They all had a younger sibling between the age of 16 and 20 months.  

And then the Lord gently reminds me of the second part of Ecclesiastics 3:

“The God-Given Task

What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.

  I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.

      I know that whatever God does,        It shall be forever.        Nothing can be added to it,        And nothing taken from it.        God does it, that men should fear before Him.        That which is has already been,        And what is to be has already been;        And God requires an account of what is past.”

I praise the Lord for little Michael who is still my baby, maybe my last, a very precious gift....  

One whom I can still cherish and hold, care for, while I don’t know when my current season will end and when the new season will dawn.  

But one thing I do know, in the new season, even more than the current, God will, through this broken vessel do things that will be forever.  

Every season is beautiful, every season has a God Given purpose if we keep eternity in our hearts.

And therefore I will rejoice and do good, and in due time, enjoy the good of the labor of  yet another God-given season. 

With love

Linnie

"And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water,

that bringeth forth his fruit in his season;

his leaf also shall not wither;

and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper."

Ps 1:3

The Secret to Freedom Mothering!

"But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away! 6 For of this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2Tim 3:1)


During the past week, someone made a comment to a friend that my BLOG isn’t ‘real life’. The comment went further saying my BLOG is not real because its not possible for someone to do so much and that it is time I BLOG about the good, the bad and the ugly too, not just the good. This started me thinking – why would someone think that?

Why is it so difficult for some mothers to understand that Motherhood can be life, and living it to the full? Why do mothers feel so much bondage in Motherhood, almost like motherhood is slavery? Why is it so hard to believe a mother can be happy, satisfied, and successful and even doing things she loves and enjoys, while home schooling her children and having more babies? Why do ladies cry out to be FREE from the ‘slavery’ of motherhood?

I’m observing that mothers, and since I’m in home schooling circles, I especially speak to home schooling mothers, have “issues” that enslaves them and keep them from the free life God intended for them as “joyful mothers of children.” Ps 113:9:

Let’s throw off the stuff that enslaves us and learn the truth about motherhood, so we don’t become gullible women. It is time we as mothers get to know who we are in Jesus! It is time we get freedom to be a Mother!!

So what is Freedom Mothering?

Freedom mother is not getting out of mothering, it is getting into it!

Mothers believe they need meetings with their lady friends, to be free. They believe they need ‘time for themselves’, time alone. Not all mothers have made peace with 'twenty four hours a day' Motherhood. So often we think we can expect to be comfortable in today’s life. Life mustn’t be too hard for too long for whatever reason. As Christians we know Christ laid down His life for us and He asks the same from us, but do we really understand what that sacrifice means – the sacrifice of being a mother?
Do mothers understand that sacrificing their time, energy and resources for God, will lead to an abundant life? Love your children, love your husbands, love your houses, keeping your house - being nurturers – that is who we are.

Freedom mothering is to follow God’s design for mothers as described in Titus 2: “admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed”

The other day I was with a group of lady friends at a coffee shop to celebrate a friend’s birthday. I was so discouraged and disappointed in the conversations around the table, between these Christian mothers. They were talking about how to get OUT of mothering. We must be so careful when we as women get together that we start to envisage freedom from our calling. Here mothers encouraged each other to make sure they make time to get out, time to be alone, time for themselves.

In Job 38 we read: “Who is this who darkens counsel
By words without knowledge?”
Ladies, God has given us counsel in His word, but so often we encourage each other away from His counsel.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop telling your friends how hard it is to be a mother and having self pity parties.

There is more stuff that ensnares mothers to slavery:

1. Doubt about what they are doing as a mother. Mothers need to be free from fear of man that tries to impose stereotype mothering on them, trying to compare them to somebody else. Get free from keeping up with the Jones's. God has set you apart as a mother, He does not want you to mother like other mothers. Climb out of the mould of how other mothers are mothering and home schooling. You will be happier, and God will be happier too. He wants you to be the Mother He created you to be, with your unique personality.

2. Discouragement, negativity and worry. So easily when mothers feel discouraged, they run to the phone or the pastor, to a new parenting book, anything, anywhere except to God Himself. And why? Because it is so much easier to run to someone else than to God and take the time to hear from God what He has to say about their children and them.
"6 Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of all the people was grieved, every man for his sons and his daughters. But David strengthened (encouraged) himself in the Lord his God. "(1 Sam 30:6)

Countless times this is my way of dealing with hardship and discouragement – running to the Lord for encouragement and counsel. The other day someone said things to me, that made me feel so inadequate as a mother. I immediately started a conversation with the Lord: “Lord, you know me better than any one on earth. You see me mother my children, you know my personality, you know my weak points – Do you think I am a terrible mother?” That evening I got an SMS from my friend who blessed me the previous day with her domestic worker. Her SMS read: “I just want to thank you for being so good to …., she is so inspired as a mother by seeing you mothering you children.” I could not believe it! It was like God answering me directly from heaven. God is so great!! Let the Lord Himself encourage you!

3. Trying to get away from their children. Just take away the children – that can be to Sunday school, day care, extra murals, other people, giving them extra schooling or putting them in front of the TV. Anything other than dealing with the Blessings in front of them. It is all about their own lives. But these mothers do not know that when they die to their own selfish lives they will become free and joyful.
The lives of mothers, so often, become filled with wishing their children away, filled with bitterness that turns into hatred towards their own lives, calling friends that are in the same situations weekly and having pity parties together.
Replace your pity parties with a hunger towards God, seeking His freedom. We were created to nurture and mother our children NOW! And it doesn’t look like the picture books, or the ‘super’ Mom next door.

What does she look like? I love Evangeline Johnson’s description of a mother after God’s heart, in her teaching CD, Adventure Mothering:
She looks like an individual woman, impregnated since conception to bear and nurture individual destinies. Children of promise in all sorts of circumstances.

We read in Isaiah 38:17 "But You have lovingly delivered my soul from the pit of corruption."
Did you hear? God delivered his soul, not his circumstances? So often we are looking to God to deliver us from what He has called us to do and to be. In freedom mothering He delivers our soul, in our calling of Motherhood.

Dear Mother it is not about us. It is about being a Mother to the next generation, making princes and princesses for the King of the universe, who will overcome the principalities of darkness.

God wants us to focus on Him, to ask Him to show us how to teach our children and how to be free. He doesn't want you to run from one extramural activity to the other, attending every home school event available, because you're afraid your children won't learn social skills. He doesn’t want you to visit a lady friend once a week for an afternoon or sometimes a whole day, to have some ‘adult’ conversation. So often, in pursuit of the above, mothers are rarely at their own homes. They are afraid to be ‘home alone’ with their children, and even if there are no activities they will arrange one, just to get out.

Stop at Jesus' feet and ask Him to free you, to be a Mother. Focus on your children and bring them back to your home. Let God Himself be your motivation and encouragement in life. Let Jesus carry your burdens. And listen to what God wants you to change in your life.

Years ago when God brought me back to my children and my home, He taught us about discipline, pruning and abiding in Him as in John 15 (Secrets of the Vine by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson):

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing."

In this passage we learn three secrets.

First Secret: If your life consistently bears no fruit, God will intervene to discipline you. (No fruit to some fruit)

What is it that prevents you from bearing fruit with your children, in your home and as a wife and mother?
Is it some of the above ‘stuff’ that keeps you from bearing any fruit, that calls God to act with discipline? Is it being doubtful, worried, negative, trying to run away from your children and the responsibilities of keeping your home?

Second Secret: If your life bears some fruit, God will intervene to prune you. (Fruit to more fruit)

Maybe you are bearing fruit, but He wants you to bear MORE fruit, and He needs to prune some unnecessary 'things'. Did you know: Good is the enemy of Best? You can be so busy with a lot of good things; you don't have time for the best. Maybe God is pruning you by taking all these extras away, and you are fighting Him. You do everything in your power to keep these extra activities going, in the midst of total chaos when you arrive back at home. Dinner is not prepared, the baby is out of routine, the children are too tired to do their chores, they get to bed too late and cannot get out of bed on time in the morning. It becomes one viscious circle.

Third Secret: If your life bears a lot of fruit, God will invite you to abide more deeply with Him. (More fruit to much fruit)

When you listen to God's discipline or you allow Him to prune all the extras and stop at His feet, to ask Him what He wants you to do today, this week, this month, you will experience how easy it will become, how much less conflict your life and home will have.
It is then that you can move from MORE fruit to MUCH fruit. Then the MUCH fruit comes through God, not through you! Abide in the Source of life.

Is it easy to make these shifts? No way! But when you are free in Motherhood, you will have a big enough motivation to bear ALL the fruit God wants you to bear, you will be able to make the necessary changes and you will have peace to stay at home, without all the stuff that enslaves you as a Mother.

Will life then be smooth and easy? No way! Jesus told us: in this life you will have trouble, but take courage...

Yes, our family has challenges, we have hardships, we have attitude problems depending on the age, our children do have times when they don't want to do their chores, and they do have sibling rivalry. But when mother is focused, by sitting at Jesus' feet, getting her freedom from the Master Teacher and doesn't allow the outside world to influence her, she will have the time to attend to these challenges, hardships and attitude problems. And there will be time for extras in the house and around the house for you and your children.

This BLOG is my way of encouraging myself and it is my prayer that it will encourage you. This is my writing pad for wisdom and revelations God gives me during my hardships and challenges of being a home schooling mother and a submissive wife. This is not the place where I want to cry on your shoulders because life is hard and motherhood is a challenge. God is my shoulder to cry on and I share with you how I climb onto His lap, cry my heart out and receive peace, comfort and encouragement from my Dad.

So next time you think my BLOG isn’t real, this is the secret to my life, and I’m still learning.

Heidi-Mari's 12th Birthday!

On Saturday Heidi-Mari turned 12years old. My little baby girl, is transforming into a beautiful swan.

I’m entering a season where I have the joy of seeing and picking the fruit of years of hard work in my young daughter. For this birthday I didn’t buy her birthday presents, I’ve decided to make her birthday presents. I wanted her to experience my gratitude for her serving helping attitude in the house. Heidi is never too tied to help me with chores in the house. Never too tired to help a little one. Never too tired to take care of our babies. And especially when I'm pregnant, she constantly has her antennas out to pick up when I'm not feeling too well, although I try to keep my pose.

I've made her a beautiful, pink skirt and two aprons. The one apron is white with pink strawberries - her tea apron and the other a bright, multi-coloured apron, for preparing food. I've made these aprons while she was helping Daddy in his health shop and it was such a big surprise to her.












On Saturday night we (Christo and I) took her out for dinner. We started this tradition with CJ’s 10th birthday. From around the age of 8 years, they don’t have parties with lots of friends anymore; instead we took the birthday boy or girl out for dinner. The siblings stay with a babysitter and he or she has the privilege of a whole evening exclusively with Mom and Dad in a nice restaurant, enjoying delicious food and good service.

This time it wasn’t only Christo and me blessing the birthday girl, the Lord blessed Heidi-Mari and Christo and I could share in the blessing! It was the first time we visit this cosy, Italian restaurant in the middle of the Durbanville residential area and what a pleasant surprise. The restaurant is in an old wine cellar, the second oldest building in the Cape (the oldest building in the Cape being the Castle!) The thick white walls, high ceiling, big old wine barrel and the fire in the huge fire place gave it a unique, warm and friendly atmosphere. As we were half way through our meal the owner of the restaurant (an Italian in his 60’s) and an accordionist entered the restaurant and started to sing classic, Italian songs. It was awesome! He sang songs like Oh Solo Mio (my dear husband’s absolute favourite!) As he passed our table, he spotted Heidi and started to sing for her!

After the first song, he asked if there were any birthdays in the restaurant. There were three more people celebrating their birthdays, but he started with Heidi-Mari! It was so special. He sang her a beautiful Italian song, then asked her name and asked the whole restaurant to sing along, Happy Birthday. Obviously she was (more than) a little uncomfortable with all the attention and blushed tomato red, but it was so beautiful.

The food was excellent and Christo could drink a real Italian espresso – the perfect ending to a nice meal.

Then on Monday, as part of her birthday, the two of us went to the Scrapbook Shop in High Street for a whole day of scrapping. Daddy took the day off at the Health Shop (a real sacrifice) and he and CJ baby-sat the little ones. It was such a blessed day. We decided before hand on the lay out of the double page we would make and got all the photo’s ready. Heidi-Mari wanted to make a scrapbook page on how she grew up, using pictures of each birthday over the last 12 years.

We had a ball! We choose the exact paper, to fit with our theme and colour scheme from the many shelves of scrapbook paper in the shop,












and as the page progressed, we could pick and choose embellishments to beautify our double page.








Half way through the day, at 12h00 we went to the next door coffee shop and had a delicious lunch. It was a typical, cold, rainy Cape Winter day, and we had butternut cream soup and chicken pancakes with a cheese sauce. Add with it the relaxed conversation of two best friends – it was perfect.

How special to have my budding girl, becoming one of my best friends. To share hobbies, but also the business of life! With Heidi-Mari I don’t need to be someone else, to impress my friend. I can just be me, her mother. After 12 years she knows all her mothers weak points… but still loves me. I appreciate her love and friendship more and more as she’s grows up. Like a real friend she knows what stress me, she knows what makes me sad and she knows what makes me happy.

For the rest of the afternoon we scraped to our hearts desire! We almost finished our double page by 16h45,

before we headed home, to my loving, caring husband and my wild, lively boys and little girl! At home even more blessings were awaiting us. Daddy prepared us the most exotic supper! Lamb shoulder in a red wine, garlic and fig sauce, rice and spelt, a ratatouille vegetable dish and slices of butternut, brushed with olive oil and baked in the oven (CJ’s speciality).

Heidi-Mari quickly put on her apron and made us a delicious fresh salad.

This was the perfect ending to a perfect day!

Thank you Lord, for such a blessed weekend, celebrating Heidi-Mari’s 12th birthday!

This is my prayer for you:
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Prov 31:29,30

May the Lord grant me the wisdom to teach my daughter to fear the Lord!