Homeschooling CJ - The End of A Season

He was only 3 or 4 years old when his Dad suggested we homeschool him. I thought he was out of his mind! Why would any parent in his/her right mind even consider homeschooling? I’m not a qualified teacher, although it was my first choice of occupation, but I was convinced I would mess up my child’s life forever! History now proved that I didn’t mess up his life although the general public, family and friends, may still believe I did.

When CJ was 5 years old Christo and I attended a Walk Thru the Bible conference. By the end of the first day, I had breakfast, lunch and supper with 3 total different parents who homeschool their children… this was weird! We talk about the year 1999. During that time there were only a few hundred homeschooling families in South Africa. What were the chances to meet 3 families - total strangers who homeschool their children, at a “Non-homeschooling conference”?

That evening, while quietly reflecting on the day, in a dormitory with 3 other couples, I had to confess to Christo, and God, I’m NOT at the conference to receive training in presenting the Walk Thru the New Testament Seminar for Children… No, I was here so the Lord could get my attention about Homeschooling…

Four months later, while I was past my due date with Baby Josua, CJ decided he was not going back to his Preschool. He needed to check on his mother when she was going into labour and after all, he was going to be homeschooled, why bother going back to a classroom, and missing out on real life!

As the saying goes: “The rest is history.” The week his brother Josua was born, we started homeschooling…. The first week was awesome. I would nurse baby Josua to sleep, while CJ was doing simple maths and then we would gather on the sofa, reading books. I could do it…

The “homeschool-honeymoon” was over within weeks. Baby Josua became more attentive and demanding, Heidi-Mari (only 3years old) needed stimulation too and I didn’t know how to do this homeschooling thing.  

It was during that time that Martie du Plessis, from Dynamis and her, then 13year old daughter Chamonix, visited Cape Town and the Lord miraculously worked behind the scenes that they stayed with us for a few days, before visiting the Southern Suburbs of Cape Town. What I learned about my child and myself during those few days was amazing and we were more on track with homeschooling. 

The next year brought a heap of challenges. We moved into a small two bedroom house, the garage our storeroom, as well as homeschool room. There was no money for resources, I was isolated and very insecure. It was the year 2000, and I haven’t heard of the internet, let alone google or supporting homeschool Facebook groups…

Over the next decade our family grew from 5 to 10 and we moved another two times.

My life was dominated with pregnancies and nursing babies. Not an easy task for someone who didn’t plan this kind of life for as long as she could remember. Never in my life had I imagined having a larger family and homeschool them.  My extended family didn’t approve either and I was all by myself. 

Over the years there was a pattern of ups and downs, success and failures, victory and disappointments. By God’s grace, as my children grew up, I grew up too. There were countless sleepless nights and chaotic days filled with exhaustion, insecurity and doubt in my ability to make homeschooling work.  BUT there were also the times when the Lord encouraged me and graciously gave me a peep into the future. The future He was busy bringing together. Often I would fall in a pitt of despair, fearing that I was messing up my children’s lives.  Each and every time my dear husband would observe and speak words of peace and confidence, “Everything is going fine; they will be fine.”

There were the times when CJ won the World Wide Apologia Science Question of the Week Competition (twice) at the age of 14. Another when he started to do horse riding stunts for movies at the age of 16. All of these brought into his life by God’s invention.

As you can imagine many homeschooling curriculums came and had gone over the past 14 years, as homeschooling was becoming more popular. It became quite a maize to decide which curriculum is the ‘best’. It was necessary to be focused; to have a philosophy; to measure the homeschooling currents accordingly and make decisions that would correspond with and support  our goals in raising our Children. For us, homeschooling was a learning lifestyle, based on gaining life skills and searching for the calling on each child’s life.  Everything else was secondary to this one goal: to guide each child in finding their God-given dream, their purpose in life, and allowing God to show the way to fulfil that purpose.

Not much changed over the 14 years we homeschooled CJ. He was our visual learner, and the way we started out homeschooling him in 2000, was the way we homeschooled till the end.

As CJ grew older we were bombarded with questions about high school and what we were going to do for matric - THAT piece of paper you need, to move on to the next level of education.  When CJ was 13 years old we earnestly prayed about his future and whether we should pursue a more formal education to receive a matric qualification. Surprisingly the Lord was clear. It was not his will for CJ’s life to change his way of learning up to that point. We gladly accepted the Lord’s guidance and CJ continued with Maths-U-See, LLATL and Science, while participating in real life. 

Often his studies would be interrupted by periods of being on set for a movie;

Helping out in Dad’s health shop; pursuing a new interest like archery 

or just supporting his larger family in every day life, days of bad health, or the arrival of a new baby.

CJ gradually came to find his purpose and his future was taking shape. Then at the age of 17 we went through a time of doubt and we considered doing Cambridge. All possibilities was taken in account, but just a few months later, we strongly experienced the Lord calling it off. Again we gladly  submitted to the Lord’s will and just went on doing what we were used to. Waiting on the Lord’s next step.

This continued until CJ turned 19 years old in August 2013. He was still working on Algebra 2 and Pre Calculus, Apologia’s Physics and Gold LLATL, but I could sense in CJ a restlessness and lack in motivation. Christo and my prayers became more intense. “Please Lord, show the way, open the doors. CJ needs to move on now.” It was December 2013, when one evening, I went to my son and asked him, “If money was no option, what would you do with your life in 2014?” Without hesitation he answered, “I will start my Private Pilot License!”  CJ wanted to be a pilot, but for some reason he held back to pursue his dream.  He needed something to push him into the right direction.

Only days after that evening, somewhere between Christmas and New year I woke up with an intense knowing CJ must do GED. Oh, I was following the GED Yahoo groups and some friends’ children was doing it, but why in the world would we consider it? But that morning I woke up with another perspective, why not? As I was pondering the possibility, one thing was clear, I would NOT push my son in doing GED. I will give him the option and all my support, but it would be his decision. That morning at the breakfast table I brought up the subject and asked him if he would consider doing it. To my biggest surprise, his face lit up and without thinking twice he decided to do it!

Instantaneous CJ’s mood and attitude changed! There was new spark in his eyes, he was focused. It was almost like he waited for this all his life and he couldn’t wait to make it happen. 

January 2014 we registered with GED testing services and enrolled in the GED online tutoring. I also downloaded a Free Master the GED pdf file of more than 880 pages. I foresaw him doing the test the end of 2014, giving the year to prepare.  CJ was more adventurous and wanted to write the exam middle 2014. He started the second week of January, beginning with the Diagnostic tests in Master the GED. To our surprise CJ scored over 80% in Maths, and Science, 70% in English writing and reading, but just passed the Social Study section.  

CJ was motivated and excited! He now wanted to write in April. I outwardly approved, not wanting to discourage him, but seriously, he needed to be realistic and give himself enough time to prepare… 

During January and the first two weeks of February, CJ diligently worked a few hours a week on his GED, while continuing with his LLATL, Apologia and Maths-U-See. Then on the 10th of February I got a message from a friend, “Did you hear? The GED test facility in Cape Town is closing down permanently on the 21st of March?” It was such a shock, I first went into denial. For a few hours I just refused to think about it, to investigate or think about the implications… By the time I went to bed, I was in a panic. I couldn’t breathe and I was calling out to God, “What were we going to do!?” 

The next morning we faced the facts. CJ could still write the exams in Johannesburg, whenever he feels ready. Johannesburg is 1,500 km from here, we could book into a hotel for a week and write the 5 papers over 5 days, and it would cost us quite a few thousand rands! Or, we could bring forward his exams, write it in Cape Town before the 21st of March, giving us less than a month for final preparations, and see how it goes.  The latter option where the logical decision, after all we couldn’t lose anything, except the $50 for each paper, should he fail!

I was in total confusion! Dear Lord, why is this happening now? Why this pressure? But then, the name of my year is Soul Rest, the Lord knows how I’m prone to delay things under the excuse of perfecting it. Was this just yet another way the Lord is directing CJ’s steps, in spite of the human failures of his Mother? I knew the Lord was up to something big, but oh, my sinful nature threatened to overwhelmed me. 

For the next 2 and a half weeks CJ studied 5hours plus a day on the five subjects - Maths, Science, Language reading, Language writing and Social Studies. I will lie if I said it was smooth sailing. It was an extreme testing time for me. CJ was focused and enjoyed his learning; I was stressed and panicking. GED is a general knowledge exam. It fits perfectly in our philosophy of homeschooling, it sure would give an exact picture of what we did over the past 14 years and if our approach had worked.  

By the 1st of March I was a wreck, but CJ was confident he could do it. Dad took over from here, and would accompany CJ with every paper, driving him two hours in rush hour traffic and wait for him while he wrote the exams. By now I realised I couldn’t do this on my own. I frantically memorised scripture, wrote them on the walls and gathered an amazing group of Prayer Warrior Lady Friends to pray with me. 

His first paper was Language Reading and I almost lost it when I got the message he passed on the 86 percentile. I went down on my knees and could only praise the Lord over and over again. In spite all my stress, so much so that I became ill for 24hours on one of the days he wrote, the results came in one by one, with scores in the 96 and 98 percentiles for Science and Maths. The final subject was Social Studies. Though I thought by now I would get the message, the Lord is in control, He is doing a mighty work, it has nothing to do with me, I was more than nervous! 

There are no words to explain the relief, joy and praises when CJ passed Social Studies in the 90th percentile too. It was over and done!  CJ was officially finished with his homeschooling era and a new season was waiting on him! 

The Lord called us to homeschool him 14 years ago. We obediently did it, in total ignorance, full of doubt and fears, so much aware of our incompetence to make a success of it in ourselves. And this is the beauty of it all to me… This was God’s will for CJ’s life. It was the training CJ needed. It didn’t make sense in our human minds and I can now testify that most of the things CJ learned over the years, the Lord taught to him in his sleep - since that was what I prayed all the months I was exhausted from pregnancy or taking care of babies. 

The results of his GED exam too wasn’t out of our effort. CJ literally studied for a month. It was all the Lord’s working -  all that years of homeschooling- because we were walking in His will for CJ’s life. The Lord was our eyes when we could not see for 14 years! He gave us a dream, He directed our paths and He brought it all to pass for His glory. 

The next Sunday CJ celebrated the end of one season and the beginning of another by doing paragliding for the first time. 

As my son took off and glided into air, with the wind behind him, I praised the Lord for what He is going to do in my son’s life. The world was waiting on him, a dangerous world, with mountains and deep blue seas. But with the Holy Spirit as the wind to guide Him and the Lord’s wisdom to direct his choices, He will bring God glory! God already proved He is trustworthy with the future of my son!

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think,

according to the power that works in us,

to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus

to all generations, forever and ever."

Eph. 3:20-21

With much love

Linnie

Homeschooling the Primary Years

I wanted to share our cleaning routine/rhythm, after the previous post on Balancing homeschooling and domestic work, but I thought it good to first share a little about my homeschool style. 

Insight into how I homeschool, might give more insight on our cleaning routine, because the two cannot be separated.

I often get questions on how I manage to homeschool 8 children, give individual attention to each one, what  I teach at what age and how  I make sure they know everything they need to know.

With my eldest now almost at the end of his homeschooling journey, my youngest not in the journey yet, and 6 children in between, you might think I have it all figured out! To the contrary. Every year, like every season, is a challenge and bring along new trials and fears, as well as joy’s, laughter and learning opportunities. But most of all it results in more trust in the Faithful One who called me to homeschool my children. 

If I could give advice to any new homeschooling mother it will be: 

“The way you homeschool in the primary years of your child’s life will make or break your homeschooling journey!”

The single, most imported thing I’ve observed over the past 12 years, was the learning curve in my children.  Observing this learning curve, helped me see the big picture of when to do what in our homeschooling journey. I’m so thankful that I have the little ones on which I can apply the wisdom obtained while homeschooling my older children.

When I just started homeschooling CJ and Heidi-Mari, people often asked me if I’m intending to homeschool them all the way through high school. It was an interesting question for me, since I believed (and now after 12years, know) the biggest challenge in homeschooling is the preschool and primary school levels.  I truly believe the success of your homeschooling journey rises and falls on how you homeschool the primary years of your child’s life.  Not only are these early years of homeschooling crucial for your child’s learning experience and capturing a love for learning; it is paramount for you as the homeschooling mother’s satisfaction of homeschooling, in the midst of sacrifices and hard work.

I’ve come to recognize three stages of learning in my children:

First Stage - Exploring through playing and making messes.

This stage is roughly between 2 and 9. The years of investigating and exploring. Now this is not new to you! Children love to explore, take things apart, want to know how things work and making a mess. Children in this age range, constantly ask questions and eagerly want to learn! At least once a week I read about mothers who proudly share how their toddlers love to learn. How these little ones at the age of 5 are begging them to go to school or “do school” with their older siblings. They are like sponges and the Mother just don’t have enough activities to keep them busy, while they learn to write their names, want to read and write and eagerly listen as she reads to them.

But then at the age of 7 to 8 years old, things often change.  The child who with delight and enthusiasm jumped into the first few months of learning, now rather wants to go and play, reluctant to join mommy for the learning activities. I get these concerning letters, on a regular basis. Mothers who now have to drag their children to their activities. 

In observing my little ones, I got the answer: Little ones love to explore and investigate new things, and soon start to push mommy to teach them how to write their name, or read, eager to learn simple maths, after picking up how to count spontaneously. With the influence of the school system, and often pressure from family and friends the parent begin formal teaching. After all the child indicated that he/she is ready to learn.

BUT the school journey very soon become routine work and repetition. In the beginning everything is new and interesting, but then after a few months there isn’t much new, interesting stuff anymore, it is mostly the same work over and over again.

From the mother’s side the workload of formal teaching, is exhausting and frustrating due to a child who now is unwilling to learn and how does she fit in the other children or take care of her home.

Our work plan: 

Stay away from formal teaching for the first 8 to 9 years!  Do very little maths, reading and writing - let the child be free to choose and guide you. Create a positive atmosphere of creative playing, arts and crafts, Bible stories and accidental learning of numbers, letters, followed by spontaneous reading, writing and maths. 

These can easily be done by lapbooking and very simple, informal unit studies.  Lapbooking and informal unit studies, allow children to explore life around them. Answer their many, many questions incorporated into some kind of learning activity, with very little, to no routine work, especially with boys. Girls might start earlier with routine work and more formal teaching.

  

We’re playing most of the days. 

Bible teaching is done through Discipleland. Discipleland is hands on, each age group’s worksheets appropriate for their interests and due to the extra learning activities,  not one day is the same! 

We use Maths-U-See for maths and we play with the manipulatives over and over again, without me pressurizing to move on. I like to share with you what I’ve observed with each of my children, concerning maths. Each one of them begged me to start maths at the end of their 5th year, just before turning 6. For months they will eagerly learn about numbers and count the blocks. Then like clockwork at the age of 7 they would loose interest. It would appear that they forgot everything. But interestingly, around the end of the 8th year towards 9, it all comes back again. And then they are on the run! They will grab the concepts and in no time catch up with the 18 months they lost interest. During the time they lost interest, I put the books away, till they ask for it again, or I introduce it every 6 months and evaluate the response.

Since Afrikaans is our mother tongue, we do Clever to recognize letters and start simple spelling and “Mart Meij’s Lekkerlees” for early reading, but never on a routine basis. I observed the same pattern, I observed with maths, with language too. But I noticed, the language would often excel during the period the maths stagnate. 

Because the first language’s reading and writing only gets established at the age of 9, we never start the second language before the age of 10. Interestingly again, the child is then at an emotional level, that enable him/her to master the second language in no time, without frustration. At the age of 12 no one would be able to say the child only started with the second language at the age of 10.  We use Christian Liberty Reading Series’ Adventures in Phonics level A and B and the Noah Webster’s reading handbook with the Grade K phonics readers. For South Africans these books are available from Christian Liberty Press in Cape Town.

To summarize: 

Lapbooking and discovering every day things is the focus, not language and maths. Currently we are learning the days of the week, months of the year, we observe the weather, seasons, as well as what to wear and what is in season to eat. We also learn time and sequences in a fun way, using all 5 senses to reinforce the knowledge. 

I had an interesting conversation with a mother whose 6year old child is in Gr 1 in the school system, about crafts. Children don’t do starch painting, modeling clay and messy arts anymore.  I remember when I was still at that very young age (many, many moons ago!) how I enjoyed it. The first 3 years of school, grades one to three now days, consisted of arts and the occasional formal learning. Tests and exams didn’t exist!! I wrote my first exam in Grade 4.

It is a known fact that young adults leaving school, are not capable of spelling, doing maths, or have a love for reading. But at the age of 10 (grade 4) their workload is the equivalent of grade 7, three decades ago!  What do we want to accomplish by squeezing in loads and loads of information in an under 10 year old’s little head, while that child should still be playing, making messes? They are not able to concentrate for longer than 10 minutes, but have to sit in a classroom for 6 solid hours!

Dear mother allow your child to play the first, almost decade of his life. There are more than enough time to fill their heads with information, at an age that they are emotionally ready to receive the information.

With much love

Linnie

Choosing the Right Homeschooling Curriculum (Part 1)

Over the past month I met with quite a number of families new to homeschooling.  It is so great to see the excitement and passion with which these parents embark on this amazing journey with their children. It is thrilling to see how all kinds of families choose to homeschool from all walks of life, but one thing these families have in common is their confusion when choosing the RIGHT curriculum on a journey that is so unfamiliar and uncertain.  

What should one take into consideration when choosing a curriculum?

1.   Curriculum must serve you, you are not to serve the curriculum

I often see families who are burned out within 18 months after starting homeschooling, because they experience bondage to the curriculum they chose.  From as early as a mere 5 years old, families want to put their little ones onto a formal curriculum, mostly due to the pressure of families and friends’ whose children went to school at that age. Within a very short period little ones of 5 or 6 years old, as well as young teens, will experience resistance to education when it is expected of them to work for hours on prescribed subjects, they often don’t even have an interest in.  The children will need to perform like puppets and the mothers become discouraged to motivate their children, while trying to comply to the standards and tests of the curriculum they have chosen.

2.   Let your children’s personality and learning style guide their curriculum

Each child has a natural appetite for all knowledge, reflect a part of God’s creative nature and has a God-given curiosity, within their unique learning style. 

Homeschooling is such an opportunity to use this hunger for knowledge, creativity and curiosity and let children discover their talents and gifting in the safe environment of their home and under the loving, caring eye of their parents. 

Choose a curriculum in which you can develop their minds to the full, by taking into account your child’s learning style.  When a child is allowed to discover in the way he is a natural learner, learning will be fun and enjoyable for the child. 

When we just start homeschooling twelve years ago, we had the privilege to meet Martie Du Plessis from Dynamis who specialised to help home educating families discover their learning styles. We learned any child has the preference to learn kinaesthetically, visually or audibly. Most of my children are kinaesthetic and visual learners. As a result reading aloud is quite a challenge. They will not sit still and all of them want to see the pictures. 

If I wasn’t aware of their lack of preference in audible learning, I would have taken all the fun out of reading, by being extremely strict. 

On top of that you get children who are thorough, structured, systematic, analytical and objective. These children want as much knowledge as possible and thrive on organization and time to complete their work. Unreasonable deadlines and being rushed will stress them out. This child might look like the perfect homeschooling student in the digital era. They always have their knowledge ready, they analyze data before making a decision and are able to conceptualize ideas. This child of mine made it quite easy on me to look like a ‘successful’ homeschooling mother, who did everything ‘right’.

Then you get other children who lean more by being adventurous, curious, innovative and creative. They are quick, intuitive and instinctive. They thrive on inspiration, independence and freedom to choose options. Excessive restrictions and forced routine just kill their creativity and learning experience.  This child is quite a challenge to homeschool. They might give the impression of being stubborn, uncompromising, impulsive, not a team worker and asking too many ‘why questions’. Your typical child whom they put on mind altering drugs at the age of seven.  But if you can appreciate their sense of humour, multidimensional personality and creativity within their independence, you might just be able to raise quite a remarkable young adult who has the ability to change the world.

You might have a hardworking, organized, accurate and consistent child. They are dependable, conventional and factual by nature. They thrive on predictability and schedules. You will stress them out by too much to do when they do not have a clean and quiet place to learn, or an example to work form. I have one of these children. Due to these children’s natural organizing skill, productivity, ability to complete their tasks with ease while focusing on detail, I cannot cope without them in my home.

You might also have a sensitive, compassionate, sentimental and imaginative child. They are perceptive and spontaneous, the nurturing type. They thrive on praise, working together and having the opportunity to be creative. I cannot imagine how my home would have been if I didn’t have this child in my home. They spontaneously understand other’s feelings and are constantly concerned about others. Quite an asset in a busy home of ten.

Just imagine if I had not been aware of these differences in my children and I tried to teach them all in the same way? Homeschooling would become drudgery, a burden.

How will the above knowledge, applied to your children, influence the curriculum you choose?

3.   Choose a curriculum which spark them to discover as a natural, enjoyable part of family life.

Homeschooling is real life, don’t you agree? 

I often hear mothers’ concerns that life gets in the way of their homeschooling, and they are stressed out due to lengthy periods of time they are not able to do as much learning as what was ‘scheduled’. That is exactly how it should be - LIFE IS SCHOOL. 

Clay and Sally Clarkson compiled it beautifully in “Educating the WholeHearted Child” 

A curriculum making use of real life will always raise a child who does well on the test of real life.

The curriculum you use should allow you to use real life to spark your children to discover and learn.  I’m constantly attentive to what my children are interested in and to use that interest to make them learn.  Currently my home is filled with silkworms on all kinds of shapes and sizes, and we are learning, without my little ones even knowing it. 

A few months ago it was birds and bird nests.

We just returned from a short visit to George and Knysna, during which they applied so many of their knowledge gained over the past few months - lets call it revision. 

Years ago when I started homeschooling CJ our oldest child, I read Clay and Sally Clarkson’s “Educating the Wholehearted Child”. I loved their Home-Centered Learning Model. In this model they focused on five study areas as the child develop in their learning ability.

Discipleship Studies - The solid foundation for learning, with the purpose of shaping their hearts.  You can never try to fill a child’s mind with information and knowledge, if you don’t shape his/her heart first.

Disciplined Studies - The study of the ‘basics’ or 3R’s (reading, writing, arithmetic) and thinking, with the purpose of developing your children’s foundational learning skills. 

Discussion Studies - The study of the humanities - history, geography and fine arts, with the purpose to feed your children’s minds by giving them the best in living books.

Discovery Studies - The study of learning - nature, science, creative arts, all interests with the purpose to simulate in your children a love for learning by creating opportunities for curiosity, creativity and discovery.

Discretionary Studies - the finishing in the study of living, home and community life and life skills, with the propose to direct your children in developing a range of skills and abilities for adult life according to their gifts and your family’s circumstances and resources.

These 5 study areas come very natural in normal family life. 

The curriculum you choose should never isolate your child from real life.

4.   No easy curriculum

No matter what kind of curriculum you choose, it will ask lots and lots of sacrificing from the parents.  There is no easy curriculum with little involvement, minimal financial costs or no preparation which will equip your child for life. 

I love how Clay and Sally Clarkson phrase counting the cost of homeschooling in their book Educating the WholeHearted Child:

The cost of ministry - Willing to minister to your children… to become a servant like Jesus, giving up your own life for your children? 

The cost of lifestyle - Willing to accept, along with the joys and blessing, the limitations and sacrifices of the homeschooling lifestyle? 

The cost of commitment - willing to take a step of faith, trusting God to provide and intending in your heart to persevere in that decision? 

Are you willing to pay the cost?

5.   Let the curriculum shape your children to become everything God wants them to become and able to walk in the calling of their life.

The current trend in education aims to produce adults whom will have a ‘decent job’ and earn money to make a living.  How about educating your child to discover the calling on their life and walk in it, whether it is to fill a job of create a job?  Whenever a person discover the calling on his/her life, they will be satisfied, fulfilled, content and at peace. That is how God intend it. Many people I know at the age of 40 are discontent and searching for purpose, mostly because the first part of their life was all about labouring for a perfect job, a perfect life, which at the end didn’t satisfy or brought along the peace they were longing for. 

Homeschooling is the one place where we as parents should aim to expose our children to as many opportunities as possible, so they can: 

Discover their gifting and talents, which will direct them to their purpose in life and give them the satisfaction of seeing God work through them, changing the World.

This post features on the South African Carnival of Homeschool Bloggers (SACH Bloggers) where South African homeschoolers share experiences, ideas, philosophies and much more. You can join the carnival too by heading to the South African Carnival of Homeschool Bloggers sign up page. We hope you enjoy the carnival as much as we have! Read more from this October 2012 Carnival here.

This posting is also linked up to:

With much love 

Linnie