Despot of the Oikos

I’ve just had the most therapeutic weekend in a long time! 

I’m feeling refreshed, energized and delighted!

No, I didn’t have a weekend all alone by myself in a cabin in the mountains... I painted my bedroom!  Yes, I absolutely love painting my house!  

There is more to this weekend’s painting.  It’s been coming a long way!  This December we will be living in our current home for 8 years. The day we moved in our home (2004), the older gentleman from whom we bought the house, informed us he didn’t have time to touch up the polyfilla patches on the walls (where pictures were hanging) and he left us with a little tin of cream coloured paint… Well, we couldn’t paint the spots, which was ‘screaming’ at me, either. The colour of the tin wasn’t matching the colour of the walls anymore, which had faded to a creamy colour. Those of you who know me in person, I’m not a neutral, creamy colour kind of girl…!  

I was pregnant with Andrew at that stage and was only able to start painting our home by the end of the next year, 2005.  Our living room and kitchen was the priority. I just couldn’t face the cream walls with white spots anymore! I enjoyed every moment covering the walls with the thick paint.  Before I was able to paint more rooms I was pregnant with David and a few months after David’s birth, beginning 2007, painted the baby’s room and the girls’ room.  I was even able to hand painted (with a stencil) a border in the boys’ rooms. 

My intention was to paint a border for the girls’ room too, but before I could get to do that, I was pregnant with Daniel, and we settled for a wall paper border.

While I was pregnant with Daniel, painting was on hold again.  Soon after Daniel’s birth (2008), my husband and oldest son painted my bathroom, of which the ceiling was covered with fungi. With 7 children, three boys 3 years and under, there was no way I could fit in the time to paint.  In 2009 we rejoiced in another pregnancy, but missed a year of painting another room. We didn’t want to expose the unborn baby to the poisonous painting fumes. Baby Michael was born early 2010, but life was busy and finances in short supply! June 2011 it was Heidi-Mari’s 15th birthday.  I was still recovering from my miscarriage earlier that year, so Christo and CJ jumped in and painted the dining room 

and entrance passage 

for her birthday tea.

By now our bedroom was in desperate need of painting, and thankfully next in line.  Fungi was growing on the south wall, against which our bed stand and the one corner of the ceiling was also covered with fungi!  The room was a mess!  But I was suffering multiple miscarriages and painting was postponed numerous times.

Then two weekends ago we rearranged the bedroom. We moved the bookshelf positioned against the south wall, to make space for a single bed for little Michael who is currently sleeping very badly and we hoped that if he could sleep in our room, I might get some more sleep.  As we moved the bookshelf from the wall, we were shocked to discover fungi covering the entire part where the bookshelf was against the wall. We realized we had to paint immediately! There was no way we could just wash away the fungi. Finally painting was possible - I wasn’t pregnant, there wasn’t a newborn baby in the home, and we had the money and time to do it! 

Three days later we moved our bed into the lounge, all the other furniture in our bedroom to the centre of the room, covered it with plastic and started washing the ceiling.  Christo and CJ did the ceiling in the evening and I would start painting the walls over the weekend. I couldn’t wait to put my hands to the painting brush. It was 5 years since I painted a wall. Christo gladly gave his permission for me to paint the room myself and send me off to the paint shop to choose the colour of the walls.  In consulting him about the colour he just smiled at me and said I may choose whatever colour will make me happy! By Thursday afternoon I got the most beautiful wall paper border for the south wall and chose the colour paint complimenting the shades of lovely roses in the wall paper.  

Friday morning I was like a little girl in anticipation of a very special gift!  The ceiling was painted and I could start with the walls. CJ took out all the nails in the wall and Josua helped me fill the holes with polyfilla.  By 2pm I poured out the painting in the pan and made a first brush on the wall!  

Heidi-Mari and Danika took care of the little boys and dinner, and I was having the time of my life painting my bedroom!  Andrew and David wanted to paint too, would paint the whole room if they could, but was quite happy to go play again after they painted the one wall’s skirting.

By Friday dinner time all four walls had their first layer of painting. Christo had his off weekend and Saturday morning joined me in my bliss of painting. I painted the ceiling-, floor and door borders (I’m a pain in how precise it must be) with the brush 

and he would fill in with the roller.  

Since quality time is one of my most important love languages, I couldn’t ask for a more perfect setting!  Painting my bedroom in the company of my dear husband and best friend!  We finished the room by 3pm and I just couldn’t get the smile of my face. It was beautiful! Our brand new bedroom in soft shades of pink, with a rose border wall paper for the one wall (which unfortunately will only arrive the end of this week).  

Now some of you might be shocked that I painted our bedroom pink. 

Did Christo approve the soft shades of pink, you might ask? Yes, he didn’t mind at all. Not because he is fond of pink, NO! It all went back to the year 2000, let me share with you.

During this time we were very actively involved with Walk Thru the Bible and part of the WorldTeach team by Dr. Bruce Wilkinson.  In 1997 we did our first biblical course on marriage, the Biblical Portrait of a Marriage. It absolutely changed our lives. 

In 2000 this course was supplemented with a Manhood and Womanhood series: 

Leading and Loving for the men

The Heart that makes a Home for the women.

  

Both these series would be attended by husband and wife.  During the 3rd session of the woman’s series on Helper, we learned two new Greek words and its meaning gave a total new perspective on my role as wife in our marriage.  

One of the main biblical principles for the Helper is to actively “manage the house” under her husband’s authority as the “Despot” of the “Oikos”.

“Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” 1 Tim. 5:14

“...admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:4,5

As you might know, “oikos” is the Greek for “home” and its “surroundings”. “despot” a very strong word which means to “manage” and “rule”.  

This all boils down to:

1.  The wife not passive, nor independent, but actively managing/ruling over her home and its surroundings.

“She watches over the ways of her household,

And does not eat the bread of idleness.”  Proverbs 31:27

2.  Not problem-dumping on her husband, but problem-solving.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom,

And on her tongue is the law of kindness.”  Proverbs 31:26

3.  The wife who walks in her calling as a helper invests her life in her husband, freeing him to take care of tasks/activities which will make him “known in the gates”. 

“She makes tapestry for herself;

Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

 Her husband is known in the gates,

When he sits among the elders of the land.

 She makes linen garments and sells them,

And supplies sashes for the merchants.”  Proverbs 31:22-24

4.  In the process she will earns her husband’s trust. 

“The heart of her husband safely trusts her;

So he will have no lack of gain.  Proverbs 31:11

5.  She contributes to his well-being.”

“She does him good and not evil

All the days of her life.”  Proverbs 31:12

I was pleasantly surprised, and overwhelmed at the same time, to hear that I’m the “Despot of our Oikos”. 

Does this really mean I’m in charge of our home? 

In charge like in making decisions concerning the home and its surroundings? 

Am I competent and skillful enough to make choices involving our home and property? 

Makes you think doesn’t it?

Who makes the final decisions?  

The wife who spends more time at her home, who manage her children in the home, or the husband who is the head of the family?  

I’m going to answer by quoting from the Heart that Makes the Home course Workbook:

“According to the Bible, the husband should defer to his wife in this matter. The husband is still the head of the family, but when it comes to matters of the house and its property, the Bible is clear.  The wife is in charge of the home. When it comes to decorating, she should be given the final word. When it comes to remodeling, the plans should be drawn based on her vision of what the home should look like, what she prefers. According to Proverbs 31, the wife is free to manage the home, generate profit, and show compassion to the poor as she sees fit. In fact, the Greek word literally describes her as the “absolute ruler” or “monarch” of the home. This is the strongest word in the Bible used to describe a leader. 

Of course this doesn’t mean the wife should be a tyrant about it. But it does mean that the wife’s instincts should take precedence over the husband’s when it comes to the home. Ideally, husband and wife will treat each other’s opinions with love and respect. 

This can be a touchy subject for some couples.  It requires that the husband and wife be in complete agreement on this issue.  The wife should NOT force the matter on her husband, but should be patient and sensitive to his point of view.  Turning to the other extreme, it’s not an excuse to dump an overwhelming number of responsibilities on the wife either. So it may take some time before couples fully understand and embrace God’s design for the homemaker together.”

And over the years this is exactly what happened in our home.  Gradually my husband gave over the matters of our home and property to me.  He especially handed over decorating our home. With me taking into account the budget and his preferences, I’m free to do as I want. For this reason he gladly allowed me to choose the colour of our bedroom.  It amuses him to see my delight in our bedroom’s decorating, the joy with which I go around in our room, and the same in the rest of our home.  

This was a very challenging matter in the beginning.  There were many times that we were not in one accord about decorating our home and for that matter me managing our home and surroundings. He would give his reasons and concerns, and I gave mine. But by the grace of God, we could work it out, and now a few years later it is much easier for Christo to step back. He has come to trust my instinct even more, as I proved to him that he and our family is of first and utmost importance to me. After all it is not about me, but about us - we are one. When he is caused harm, I’m harmed too. 

This is a big responsibility on the wife. It is asking great maturity from her, to not take advantage of this privilege, not acting selfish or use it as a weapon against her husband. To always keep in mind he is the head of the family and as long as she moves together  with him as one, they will reap the blessing in their marriage - honoring God and what He wants to accomplish through their Oneness.

With much love

Linnie

Linking up to:

Seeking the Lord in the Morning - So Much More!

It is so important to have a longing for the knowledge of God as given to us in His Word, when trying to wake up early for Bible study.  

I believe there are many different motivations for sacrificing sleep and spend early mornings with the Lord. Longing for fellowship with the Spirit, the Lord’s comfort, encouragement, unconditional love and supplication of heartfelt prayer especially in a time of tribulation and hardship, the most general motivation. BUT, what about days when things are actually going smooth? No difficult decisions to make, no emergency situation that make me rush to the Lord.   On such mornings I will lay in bed, and all the different excuses for staying in bed will roll through my mind like the credits on a movie screen. 

I just experienced it over this weekend.  It was a relaxing weekend, no dead lines, nothing important on the to-do-list, no serious conflicting issues, that make me long for encouragement and guidance of the Spirit. Personally I was content and emotionally in the ‘better half of my monthly cycle.”  When the alarm went off, it was still pitch dark outside and I could hear the soothing sound of rain on the rooftop. My dear husband was peacefully asleep next to the tiny, warm body of our two year old son, who called sometime during the night, because he was cold and thirsty. I wasn’t keen to share his single bed for most of the night and carried him over to our bed, where he very eagerly moved close in behind his Daddy back. 

I had NO reason in the world to pull myself from my loved ones and get out of my comfortable, warm bed, to sit on a cold chair, at a cold desk on a freezing cold morning.

One after the other excuses and compromising thoughts filled my mind. After all it was weekend, I got up early every morning of the week for my family who need me to rise before them. There was no rush for this day. I didn’t need to wake them up and I liked the idea of spoiling them this one day to sleep in. If I got out of bed, there was the possibility I would disturb some of them and wake them up. Surely I will be able to find some time during the day to have Bible study and prayer, we’re not bound to a schedule today.  

But the next moment I identified something else in my spirit.  A longing to receive personal teaching/training from my Heavenly Father. What am I going to miss out on, when I stay in bed? I want to get to know His will more and more, His agenda for my life, understand God’s Manual for Man to live a holy life. This was a different longing than what I was used to.  In the past I mostly longed to share with the Lord my agenda, my hardships and try to find His will in that. 

Over the past 8 months, since I’m doing the Hello Mornings and Do Not Depart Bible Studies, I acquired so much wisdom and counsel from my Heavenly Father, through studying the Bible myself.  All the Do Not Depart Bible Studies are based on the Savoring Living Water Study Method, which teach you to observe any passage, chapter or book through initial reading and finding context; digging deeper in God’s Word through observing Truths, Promises, Commands; and Personal application of these three aspects in how we love and live.

From Savoring Living Water:

“Truths:

Lies fill our world and seep into our homes. If we don’t know His truths then lies will take us captive. If lies bind us, we doubt God’s love and question His faithfulness when difficulties arise.  If lies fill our minds, we define God’s character based upon our circumstance rather than based upon His revelation. Through the Savoring Living Water Study Method I’m able to maintain an arsenal of truths in my heart and soul in order to combat lies.

Promises:

At times He Speaks conditional promises, meaning they will only be experienced when a condition is met. Other times He gives unconditional promises, meaning that they will happen regardless.

Commands:

He’s our Father. He loves us. He designed us. He knows us perfectly. He gives us commands for our good and His glory. When we choose to obey, we choose His blessing.”

Structure and purpose was now typical of my Bible study. That didn’t characterize my studies in the past, and it was pulling me out of the warm comfortable bed, to a secret place filled with so much more warmth, comfort, peace and revelation, I couldn’t resist.

Through the Savoring Living Waters Study Guide I could design a place, time and plan to get to such a warm, comfortable, peaceful place. It is hard work to seek the Lord, even more to seek His will for my life, and then step out and do it. I remember the times when I just couldn’t figure out the meaning of passages in the Bible; seasons where I felt distanced from the Lord and couldn’t focus; moments when my heart was cluttered with sin and I was under so much personal condemnation, as well as condemnation from the enemy of my soul, that I was to ashamed to seek the Lord.  

Then there were the times I would only rush to the Lord like the seriously injured rush to Emergency Rescue.  My quiet times were determined by my state of well being. How seriously I needed the Lord for the day? And the sad part of that state of mind, is me only reading the ‘nice verses’ in the Bible.  The verses on grace, His love for me and redemption.  I would read the passages I knew would comfort me and assure me God loves me even though I’m a sinner. 

Nothing wrong with reading and clinging to these verses, but there are so much more to discover in God’s Love Letter to me. Chapters on repentance, instructions to turn from my wicked ways; passages on becoming holy because the Lord is holy. Sections in which the Lord asked changes in my life I wasn’t ready to commit myself to, I would just quickly page through. I would often get up from my Bible study time with a feeling, “there was nothing in it for me…” I was still thirsty.  This was all due to my lack of a plan and structure, practical tools to quench my thirst . What a breakthrough moment for me this morning to see through all these and long to be with the Lord, no matter what He sees fit for me for today!

Oh! I know I’m only scratching on the surface of what it is all about, but I’m in anticipation and know I’m entering a new season of seeking the Lord, like a man in the desert seeking water. 

Bible study isn’t about me anymore, it isn’t about how I will feel anymore. It is all about me seeking the will of God Almighty. It isn’t about my happiness anymore, it is all about becoming holy and pleasing to the Lord, breaking down the barriers between God and me, through the instructions in His Word.

With much love

Linnie

The Blood Group Diet and Recipes

As a family we eat according to our Blood group.  Christo analysis the live blood samples of clients in his health shop through a dark field microscope daily.  When he consults his clients, one of the most revolutionary pieces of information he is able to show his clients is the correlation between their diet and the appearance of there blood cells under the dark field microscope.  You can immediately see when a client follows his blood group diet and when not!  

The testimonies of people who start to follow their blood group diet is amazing! The improvements in people is vast, ranging from more energy, better sleep, weight loss, less mood swings, better cognitive clarity to common things like sinus and eczema that disappears. Christo has seen more serious conditions like arthritis, diabetes and even psoriasis disappear when people follow the Blood Type Diet by Dr. Peter D’Adamo.

When clients eat whatever they want, the blood often end up looking like the pictures below, unhealthy, clumping together and in the long term can lead to disease.

But when they start following the blood type diet, the picture improves to a healthy looking sample as below.

I know the majority of my blog readers are Christians, and Dr. Peter D'Adamo is an Evolutionist and he has a philosophy around the Blood group diet’s origin. Some Christians don’t want to follow the Blood group diet, because of this.

Let's think about this.  We human beings need love.  There isn’t one person I know or ever read about who don’t flourish on love, any kind of love. And Jesus also commanded us to love each other, as He loved us (John 15). We also know every person has a specific love language, a favorite way of communicating love and when they receive love in that specific way, they feel more loved. There are wonderful books written by well respective Christians about the Love Language concept.  But what if this concept was at first observed by a Non-Christian, would that make the concept unacceptable for Christians? Sadly it could... Would it change the truth that we communicate love in a certain, favourite way?  I don’t think so.

It my opinion it is the same with the Blood type diet.  We all need food, right?  And in the short run all food will prevent us from dying of hunger.  But every person has a preference for certain foods, that correlates with his/her blood type. The fact that an Evolutionist observed the correlation, does that make it false?  His philosophy of evolution is totally wrong.  But that doesn’t change the truth, especially since their is scientific proof of the health benefits of this type of diet, as shown above and in many other scientific studies.  

God decided in His wisdom to create people with certain characteristics.  Certain colour eyes, hair, skin type, why not with a specific blood group too and a preference for certain food to make the body work optimal and stay healthy, just as people have a preference for a certain kind of love. That is even more evidence for a Creationist that God created us, and we didn’t evolved out of a blob of goo!


Get more of your Questions about the Blood group diet, answered by Christo here, at his blog Natural Medicine Talk. 

Since the Lord graciously ordained our whole family of ten to be O blood group, we have meat three times a day!  We buy all our meat (organic), as well as our chicken (organic) from the Boesmanland, once a month.  To have a ready-to-dish-up Bolognese sauce in the fridge saved me numerous times.  I share with you my Bolognese sauce, from James Peterson’s Meat book. 

Over at Heidi-Mari’s blog the Fortnightly Baking Fun Challenge is Italian Food. 

The prize with this Fortnightly Baking Fun Challenge is: 

Food Lovers' 

Pasta Recipe Book!

I would like to use the Bolognese sauce and enter one of my children’s favourite pasta recipes, Lasagna.

Bolognese Sauce

This famous Sauce we make with organic mince we get from the Boesmanland, here in South Africa.  We use it for multiple kinds of meals, not only in our lasagna, but also on pasta, on our home made pizza, in Shepard’s pie, or just on a sandwich for lunch. It also freeze very well, and often help me out on crazy evenings.

The secret to this sauce is the first step of sweating the vegetables and caramelizing the natural ‘juices’ of the meat, before adding the tomatoes)

Ingredients:

1 kg organic mince

3 tablespoons butter or olive oil

1 carrot, peeled and chopped

1 large onion, chopped

2 tablespoons vegetable chutney

10ml non-irritating curry powder

¾ cup dry white wine (I often use a rosé too, when I don’t have a dry white)

½ tube organic tomato paste 

1 tin canned organic tomato

½ cup organic heavy cream

15ml salt (or to taste)

fresh ground pepper (to taste)

In a heavy pot, heat the butter or olive oil over medium heat.  Add the onion and carrot and sweat the vegetables, stirring often, for about 10 minutes, or until they have softened.

Add the chutney and curry, and stir another 2 minutes.

Add the mince and continue to cook, stirring occasionally, for about 20 minutes, or until the meat begins to brown. (The meat will release liquid, 

which must be boiled down until it caramelizes on the bottom of the pan)

Add the wine, tomato paste, canned tomatoes, cream, salt and pepper and stir well.

Simmer gently, uncovered, for about 1½ hours, or until the meat yields when pressed with the back of a fork.  

If the sauce begins to get too thick before the flavors have married and the meat is tender, add water, a little at a time as needed to thin to a good consistency.

Fresh Egg Pasta Noodles

You can make pasta dough by combining the ingredients together by hand, but it is easier to mix it in a food processor.  The number of eggs you will need can vary - the more gluten in the flour, the more eggs you will need - so you must learn to recognize when the dough has the right amount of egg.  It should feel just moist to the touch but not sticky!  If it is too wet, it will stick to the rolling pin or in the pasta machine when you begin to roll it out.  If this happens, you can flour it as you roll it and it will absorb some of the flour reducing the stickiness.

Makes about 2 ½ pounds dough, enough for 8 first course servings or 6 main course servings (I only made ½ the amount for our family of 10)

6 Free range extra large eggs

4 cups all-purpose flour or 5 cups organic spelt flour (spelt contains less gluten than all purpose flour)

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

To make the dough in a food processor (I use my Kenwood), make it in two batches to avoid straining the processor. 

Process 3 eggs with 2 cups of flour and 1 tablespoon of oil and repeat with the remaining ingredients.

Process until the dough forms a ragged mass around the sides of the processor.  If the dough doesn’t come together in a loosely cohesive mass, add another egg yolk (save the white) and process a little longer.  If it still doesn’t come together, add the egg white.  

Turn the dough out onto a floured work surface and knead a few times with the heel of your hand until the dough comes together in a cohesive mass.

To make the dough by hand, mound the flour on a work surface, make a well in the center, and add the eggs and the oil to the well.  Lightly break up the eggs with your fingers, and then gradually pull the flour into the well.

Work the ingredients together with one hand until the dough comes together in a cohesive mass. 

Or, you can use this same method, but form the well of flour in a large bowl, rather than on a work surface.  If the dough remains crumbly, add an extra egg yolk, and then the white if necessary.  If the dough sticks to your hands, add a handful of flour.  

Knead the dough, one third at a time on the widest setting of your pasta maker, repeating until the dough is perfectly smooth and has the texture of suede.

When you are ready to roll out the dough, roll it once again through the widest setting, adjust the knob to the the next narrower setting, and roll the dough through again. 

Continue in this way, setting the machine to the next narrower setting each time, until you reach the narrowest or the second-to-narrowest setting.  

If the dough becomes long and unwieldy, cut it in half to make it easier to roll.

The dough should be thin enough for light to pass through it. 
Use the sheets for making ravioli, lasagna, or hand-cut ribbon width noodles or to run through the machine for machine-cut ribbon-width noodles.

Making the Lasagna!

Dough for fresh Egg Pasta Noodles

Mozzarella, sliced

Bolognese Sauce

Make the pasta and cut into lasagna-width noodles.

Butter a baking dish with high sides (a roasting pan also works well).

Put the first layer of lasagna noodles in the dish.

Layer the bolognese sauce and mozzarella on the first layer.

Repeat a second and third layer of lasagna noodles, bolognese sauce and mozzarella.

Finish the lasagna with a layer of sauce and a generous sprinkling of Parmigiano (I didn’t have and just put another layer of mozzarella on top)

Bake in a 180 degrees C oven, until you see the lasagna bubbling, about 1 hour.

Let cool for at least 15 minutes before serving or better yet, let cool completely so the layers settle and become easier to portion out, and then reheat to serve.

Bon appetite!

Linnie